


Broken And Beautiful

by ValkyrieNine



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015), supercorp - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Choose Your Own Adventure, Complete, Completed, Declarations Of Love, Desire, Dorks in Love, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Forbidden Love, Holidays, Idiots in Love, Longing, Passion, Phone Calls & Telephones, SuperCorp, True Love, complete work, finished work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:28:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21983665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieNine/pseuds/ValkyrieNine
Summary: Lena Luthor is an overworked attorney having the worst Christmas Eve of her life. She has no family, her girlfriend dumped her right before Thanksgiving, and she gets stuck in an elevator late at night on Christmas Eve.Life starts to look up when a happy accident leads to a stimulating conversation with Kara Danvers, an equally hardworking civil engineer, who also finds herself trapped in an office building late on Christmas Eve.This is a different kind of Holiday story, but hopefully one you will all enjoy. It starts out with a broken hearted Lena, but we get to experience flirting, longing, angst, desire and passion along the way. Stay with me and have faith. It will be a fun ride.PLEASE NOTE: Much like Always Yours, this story will have a choose your own adventure element, allowing readers to stick with the fluff or choose the racier sexier version along the way.As always, thank you for reading. Happy Holidays!
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 147
Kudos: 434





	1. Bottom Of The River

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short chapter to wet your appetite. Don’t worry, things look up for Lena in Chapter Two.

Lena sat in her dimly lit corner office, staring out at the snowy Metropolis night. The whole city seemed to be blanketed with the joy and magic, only Christmas Eve could bring. Lena sat back in her chair and rubbed her temples. Her breath was labored and her head pounded in her skull.

The other attorneys cleared out before five, but they had family and friends to celebrate with. No one waited at home for Lena. Her mother and father died when she was child, and she was estranged from her brother and stepmother.

When Lena’s girlfriend of two years called the day before Thanksgiving to dump the overworked attorney, Lena knew this holiday season would be the worst of her adult life.

Her heart was freshly broken and instead of joy and wonder, Lena only felt profound sorrow and loss. When she wasn’t working, she was sobbing uncontrollably. Lena’s emotional status, as of late, was very simply, _broken_.

Lena readily admitted to herself that her life was at an all time low, but at least she had her work.

She looked at the clock and rubbed her eyes.

“10:30 pm on Christmas Eve and you’re still at work Lena. You really are a mess,” she mumbled to herself. Lena knew she didn’t need to mumble or whisper. Who would hear her? Even the cleaning people had the night off.

Lena looked over at the picture of her ex that laid face down on the desk. She picked it up and looked at the woman who ripped her heart out. She began to weep.

“When am I going to run out of tears? Come on Lena, get a fucking grip. It’s done. She doesn’t love you. She has moved on and you need to get it through your thick skull. She’s spending Christmas Eve with her new girlfriend and you are sitting in your office like a sad sack talking to yourself at 10:30 pm because you have nowhere else to go. Jesus. I need to leave. This is just pathetic.”

Lena tossed the picture frame into her empty trashcan, but changed her mind at the last moment. She grabbed the frame and tossed it into her briefcase.

“What the hell is wrong with me?”

Lena gathered her things and locked up her office. She was thirsty, starving and had to pee but all of that could wait. She just needed to go home and forget the day. She needed to go home and forget the last month. A tall glass of whiskey, a marathon of something romantic and heartbreaking and another tall glass of whiskey were all she wanted for Christmas.

Lena walked down the dimly lit hallway towards the elevator bank. A security guard was usually posted on her floor, but it looked like even he had better plans for the evening. It suddenly hit Lena how alone she felt and her eyes welled up with tears once more. She took a deep cleansing breath and clenched her jaw.

“Not here damnit. Wait until you get home.”

Lena hit the down arrow for the elevator and exhaled sharply.

“Forty minutes and then I’m home, in my pjs and drinking my sorrows away. Shit. That sounds super healthy Lena. Note to self, seek help after the New Year.”

The elevator doors opened and Lena hit ‘G’ for the garage. Her driver usually picked her up in front of the building, but tonight she would wait inside, away from the snow.

The elevator began its descent from the 40th floor. Just as the car passed the 25th floor, Lena heard a loud boom, and the elevator came to a crashing halt. Lena was knocked down to the ground, along with her purse and her brief case. The lights in the elevator dimmed and an emergency message began to blare loudly. Lena thought she was already at her lowest point when she stepped onto the elevator. She was sorely mistaken.

“Please remain calm. Please remain in the elevator car. Help is on the way. Please remain calm. Please remain in the elevator car. Help is on the way.” The message played at an almost deafening volume and repeated every fifteen seconds.

Lena balled up on the floor of the elevator feeling completely defeated. This was her very last straw. Lena had no more strength left to fight the absurd downturn her life had taken. She cradled her face in her hands and wept, taking heaving breathes and quickly regretting that she had no tissue. Her two-thousand dollar suit was now scuffed and dirty but she didn’t care. Now her outsides matched her insides.

Lena laid there for a moment, wondering if she could just close her eyes and fall asleep, but the flickering lights and repeating message screaming in her ears wouldn’t allow he a respite from the devastation that seemed to plague her at every turn.

She sat up and dug through her purse. She found her cell phone and pulled it out.

“I’m not helpless. I can dial a damn number.”

Lena looked at her phone. No bars. No signal.

“Shit! I forgot. This stupid building.” Lena tossed her cell phone onto her bag and growled.

She looked around the elevator and found a call button. She shook her head trying, in vain, to get a grip on her panic. She wiped away her tears and took in a deep breath. She stretched out her right forefinger and pressed the call button, hoping someone would come soon and rescue her from the agony of the worst Christmas Eve in history.

“Bottom Of The River”, By Delta Rae

https://open.spotify.com/track/2LzyUfJdRp3uqTrITBJXEY?si=FDONWvlQTb-grKIgZWYMmA


	2. The Lawyer, The Engineer, and a Man Named Joe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena’s elevator call for help is misdirected to Kara Danver’s office line. The two find common ground as Kara does everything in her power to free the broken woman.
> 
> 5,000 words closer but so far away!

Kara Danvers stared at her computer screen so long her eyes crossed. She exhaled sharply and let out a deep guttural sound. She was clearly exhausted and frustrated, not that there was anyone around to notice or care.

She removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes. Kara worked as a civil engineer for the prestigious Metropolis firm Kleiner, Shaw & O’Riley. Being the youngest of all the engineers working on the new Airport project meant that she was tasked with checking and rechecking the specifications and calculations submitted by the senior engineers.

That meant that Kara would be working around the clock until after the New Year checking everyone’s work as well as her own. Her contribution was small in the grand scheme of things, but her portion of the bridge leading to the airport was a critical component and she was proud of her work.

She was proud of all of her work because she cared about her job and she cared about all of her projects. It hadn’t escaped her that that the more senior engineers working on the project were often hypercritical with her, and more often than not, without cause. They hazed her like they were in some kind of fraternity but Kara knew, one day, she would be a senior engineer. When she was seasoned, she would treat the younger engineers with kindness and respect.

She wouldn’t let her knowledge and experience dull her emotions and sharpen her tongue. Kara sat for a moment and seriously contemplated unscrewing most of the screws from the senior engineers desks. She loved the idea of them coming in after the holiday and having their desks falling around them like the war torn turrets of a castle. It was a pleasant image, but only a fantasy.

“If only there was some beautiful woman out there that thought engineers were sexy. Fat chance Kara. That’s some Christmas wish. Ugh. I am talking to myself way too much these days.”

Kara pulled her hair back into a low point tail and put her glasses back on.

**“Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”, by Mariah Carey played low in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/3PIDciSFdrQxSQSihim3hN?si=pUJ5i4yoRWmIQ7GCz8abCA**

Kara looked out the window at the falling snow. Her heart ached to be with her family. She had spent the last week preemptively apologizing to her mother and her sister for missing Christmas and New Years Eve. They were kind and understanding, which made Kara feel even worse for being away from them during the holidays.

“Enough Kara! Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

Kara turned up the volume on the music and tapped her foot. She stood up and began to shake her hips and dance to the music. She was intent on finding what little joy she could on this lonely Christmas Eve.

She twirled around her desk and pushed her chair away. She closed her eyes and started singing along to the lyrics loudly. She sang so loud she could barely hear her phone ringing. The clock read five minutes to eleven. She hit pause on the music and picked up her phone.

“Kleiner Shaw”, she said more like a question. She was sure the caller had to be a wrong number, calling so late on Christmas Eve.

“Is this building operations?”, a woman’s voice asked shakily. Kara could hear the panic in her voice.

“This is Kleiner, Shaw & O’Riley Engineering”, Kara said confused but concerned for the panicked woman. “I think you might have dialed the wrong number.”

“Please don’t hang up! I’m stuck in this elevator and it’s Christmas Eve. I am totally freaking out, my cell phone has no bars and is getting no signal of any kind. Fucking Metropolis skyscrapers. My girlfriend just dumped me and I am a fucking mess. All I wanted to do was go home, strip this suit off and drink until the pain goes away. I haven’t eaten since breakfast and I really should have peed before I stepped onto this death trap. This horrible error message keeps playing, it’s almost completely pitch black in here and I think I might be slipping into shock. All I do is work all the time, I have no life, and I am so thirsty I could scream”, the woman shouted into the phone.

Kara paused for a beat. She felt heartbroken for the trapped woman but she couldn’t help but be a little amused at her transparency. She smiled and sat down in her chair.

“I won’t hang up. I promise. Just do me a favor and take a long deep breath. I don’t know what I can do for you from here but I will stay with you until we figure this out.”

Kara spoke calmly and quietly. She didn’t know the woman on the other side of the line but somehow, she knew that the woman needed every bit of her kindness and patience.

The woman was silent for a long beat.

“Are you still there?”, Kara asked, more concerned.

Kara could hear the soft, labored breath of the other woman coming through the phone.

“Thank you for not hanging up. I am so sorry I freaked out there for a minute”, the woman said with a calmer, more level tone of voice. “I understand how absurd it was for me to say that I felt like screaming, whilst I was actively screaming.” The woman let out the tiniest chuckle and Kara felt like she could breathe a little easier.

“I believe anyone in your position would be freaking out but it sounds like you’re breathing, so you’re in a better place. Listen, we can figure this out. What building are you in?”

“I’m in the Tyson Building. I’m stuck between the 24th and 25th floors.”

“Okay. I’m going to look up the building office number and call from my cell phone. Let me see I can get a hold of someone for you”, Kara said already typing the search into her cell phone.

“Thank you. Thank you so much. Please don’t be long. I don’t want to be alone. I think the darkness and this stupid message are getting to me. Shit. That was an insanely unreasonable request. Take as much time as you need. Ignore the basket case in the elevator”, the woman said with a sad laugh.

“I’m right here. I’ll call but I’ll put it on speaker phone and try and say everything loud enough for you to hear. That way you won’t feel alone. Everything will be okay. I just need to know you’re still breathing.”

“I’m breathing. I can stay calm as long as I hear your voice.”

Kara smiled. She didn’t know why she smiled. Maybe it was because she was glad to have a distraction from her life. Maybe she was happy to help someone else. Maybe it was more than that. Maybe the vulnerability of this woman made Kara want to help her for a different reason.

Kara found the number for the Tyson building security office and called the number. The phone rang and rang without an answer. She ended the call and took a breath.

_I can’t go back to her and tell her I failed._

Kara continued to try and look up the numbers. She found another number for the Tyson building. She called the number.

The woman on the other end of the line was silent but she could hear her breathing heavier and heavier as Kara’s calls continued to result in nothing but ringing and no answers.

“Still with me?”, Kara asked as cheerfully as she could.”

“I am. Thank you”, the woman said over the continuing error message.

Kara dialed the first number again. They both waited with baited breath as the phone rang and rang. Suddenly the phone clicked and they heard the gruff sound of a man’s voice.

“Tyson Building. This is Joe.”

“Hi. There is a young woman trapped in the elevator in your building. She is stuck between the 24th and 25th floors. She hit the call button, but it called my office line 6 blocks away. What the hell is going on?”

“Listen lady, I’m not in the Tyson building. No one is. I’m across town in the building management office. You’ve got a skeleton crew over there and no one that can get anyone out of an elevator. The call forwarder has to be manually set. I’m sure one of the security guards fat-fingered the number and it is calling you instead of us. Bottom line, no one is there. 

Kara fumbled with her phone and quickly switched it off of speaker phone. She held the office phone away from her cell phone and whisper-yelled at Joe-the-grinch.

“Listen very carefully Joe, the woman who is trapped in your broken elevator is very frightened. There is an alarm blaring in her ears that is making her feel even more horrible. She is sitting there in the dark terrified. You get someone down there now and stop making excuses or I’ll come and find you at your building management office and make you regret you ever answered the phone. Do you understand me?”

“Okay. Listen, I’ll make some calls. It’s probably going to be a few hours but I’ll get someone down there.”

“Good. Thank you. Please remember this is urgent. Try and get someone down there as soon as you can. Do you have any idea how to shut off the error message or turn on the lights?”

“No lady. Not a clue. You’ll just have to wait for the elevator guys to show up. Someone will be there in a couple of hours.”

The line went dead and her heart dropped. How was she going to tell that woman it was going to be a few more hours? Did she hear everything.

“Did you hear all of that?” Kara asked.

“No. What happened? You went quiet for a long time. What did he say?”

“They will get there as soon as they can but I’m going to stay on the line with you until they get you out.

“I feel terrible. You must want to get home to your family.”

“What about you? They must be terribly worried.”

“No one is waiting at home for me. Like I said, my girlfriend of two years decided her assistant would make a better date for Thanksgiving, so no girlfriend and I have no real family to speak of. I was just planning on going home and drinking in my pajamas. Really, if I didn’t have to pee so bad, this might actually be less pathetic than me trying to drink away my broken heart, all by myself on Christmas Eve. Christ! I can’t believe I just said all of that. Is it because we’re not face to face that I feel like confessing every embarrassing thing about myself to you? I am so sorry. Ignore the pathetic pile of in the corner of the elevator. She just has a broken heart and has come down with a case of the babbles.”

Kara chuckled.

“Okay, first of all, your honesty is refreshing. In my day to day life I come across maybe one person who tells me the truth. Everyone else just tells you what they think you want to hear. You ask ‘How are you today?’ They respond ‘Fine. How are you’, when what they really mean to say is ‘Shitty. I got no sleep again, my job stresses me out and I hate the way I look in hats.”

“The way they look in hats?” Lena asked laughing hysterically. “Wow. I haven’t laughed in so long I didn’t recognize the sound. You’re funny, you know that?”

“Just telling it like it is. So, you’re broken hearted, might have a slight drinking problem that should be addressed after the New Year...”, Kara started before Lena interrupted.

“That’s what I said! Lena, seek help after the New Year!”

“So, your name is Lena?”

“Yes. Great. There goes my anonymity.”

“I’m Kara. Kara Danvers.”

“You know more about me than my priest. Maybe I’ll just stick with my first name for now. Seeing as I can’t keep my mouth shut with you for some reason.”

“Lena, you don’t have to self-edit with me. It’s okay. You’re human.”

“I have to pee so bad”, Lena said laughing.

“See, honesty. So rare.”

Lena and Kara laughed loudly. No one was around to hear them but the noise echoed through their empty spaces.

“Stop making me laugh or I really will pee.”

“Just pee. Go into a corner and let it go like Elsa from Frozen”, Kara said with a little laugh.

“Not helpful Kara”, Lena said chuckling back. “Lawyers don’t pee in the corner of elevators. I think I might die of shame.”

“Come on. Who would know? Just you, me, and the elevator repair guy.”

“I’m wearing a two-thousand dollar suit. You don’t pee in in a two-thousand dollar suit.”

“I’m wearing khakis and a button down from Target. Clearly we live in different worlds.”

“What’s Target?”

“Oh Lena. You make me smile.”

“You make me smile too Kara. I didn’t think that would be possible with the situation at hand.”

“So, really no family? No siblings? No parents?”

“My mother and father died when I was young and I am estranged from my brother and stepmother. It’s just me. You can understand why this holiday is really shaping up to be the worst ever. I felt pretty low when I stepped onto the elevator and then when my ass got knocked down to the ground, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe I was a Nazi or something in a previous life. I must have been a terrible person. Maybe I’m a terrible person now and this is karma coming to bite me in the ass.”

Kara put her hand to her heart and smiled. This woman was so brutally honest, but there was something she really liked about her.

“I’m pretty sure you weren’t a Nazi in a previous life. I’m pretty sure you are experiencing what my mother refers to as ‘the shittiest of times’, but she always says no matter how bad things look now, there’s a light at the end of the road.”

“Why aren’t you with your mom tonight? Why are you at work?”

“I have a project that is due by the first of the year and, as it is, it will take me every minute of every day to complete it.”

“I shouldn’t be taking up your time. You have already been too kind. I understand if you need to get back to work.”

“I’m fine. I’m not leaving you alone. The work will get done. It always does.”

“You are really sweet. Thank you”, Lena said with a relieved sigh. “What kind of project are you working on?”

“A new airport. We are the engineering firm in charge of the project. There is a team of twenty engineers working on the project. I’m working on a bridge that leads into the airport. It sounds mundane but I’m feeling pretty good about my work.”

“You’re an engineer? That’s hot. Brains are sexy and engineers have the best brains.”

“Stop, you’re making me blush. You can’t possibly think engineers are hot. I was literally just saying it would be great if there was a beautiful woman out there that thought this job was hot. Shit, I’m dreaming. God, that sucks.”

“You’re not dreaming silly. Engineers make something great out of nothing but an idea. I’m sure you’re brilliant.”

“Yeah. So brilliant that all of the senior engineers went home to their families and dumped their work on me to check before it is submitted. If it was just my work, I would be at home with my Mom and sister Alex celebrating but instead, I’m here by myself. I mean, it’s kind of been worth it being able to help you and talk to you so I guess there is a silver lining.”

“Now you’re just being nice. How could this possibly be a silver lining? I’m just a broken woman without a filter.”

“I know this situation isn’t ideal, but you’re not hard to talk to.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment”, Lena said with a brighter tone.

“Please do. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself earlier.”

“Ha! At least you can pee if you need to.”

“True. Hey, you said you’re a lawyer right?”

“Yeah. I work at Goodman, Duff & McCleary.”

“What kind of law do you practice?”

“Corporate. Mostly Mergers and Acquisitions. So I basically come in and ruin people’s lives. I don’t contribute to society the way you do.”

“Oh please. The world needs good lawyers.”

“Thank you for saying that. It may not be one hundred percent true but I’ll take it.”

The error message continued to play loudly in the background.

“Hey, can you do me a favor?” Kara asked.

“Of course. I owe you so much already.”

“Tell me what kind of elevator you’re in. Is there a brand name or a model number anywhere? Maybe on the inspection tag?”

Lena stood up and brushed herself off. The light was dim but she grabbed her cell phone and turned on the flashlight.

“It’s a Powell elevator. It says the model is JX7000.”

Kara typed in the information Lena provided into the computer and performed a search. She brought up engineering specs on the elevator from their database. Powell just happened to be a client. Kara couldn’t help but feel like fate might be playing a part.

“I think I can help with that stupid error message. Do you have a nail file or something you can jimmy the bottom panel open with?

“Will a Swiss Army knife work?”

“Sure. I’m impressed.”

“My dad was a boy scout. He insisted I carry a Swiss Amy knife everywhere. It doesn’t matter how high end my purse is, I always have a Swiss Army knife.”

“See if you can open the panel.”

Lena grabbed her bag and quickly found her knife. She found the flat head screwdriver and popped open the panel.

“Okay. All set. What next?”

“There should be a small keypad.”

“There is, Lena said a little more cheerful.

“Type 2214759.”

“Where are you getting this from?”

“It’s a secret. No really, my firm works with Powell and we just happened to have the specs in the computer.

“Lena typed in the code and the error message stopped playing immediately.”

“Oh MY GOD. You are my hero Kara Danvers. I don’t know what a Civil Engineer does but I think you might be a fucking magician.”

“We build things and occasionally stop to help pretty girls out of elevators.”

“Seriously, I don’t know how to thank you for all of this. I’ll have to send you flowers.”

“That sounds romantic”, Kara said suggestively.

Lena paused for a long moment.

“Shit, that made you uncomfortable. I was just kidding. I’m sorry.”

“I’m good. Really. Don’t be sorry.”

“Try this. Type in the code 9982379.”

“What does that do?”

“Just type it.”

Lena typed in the code and suddenly the elevator car was filled with bright light again. Lena grinned from ear to ear.

“Are you serious right now? I could kiss you! Thank you so much.

“I wouldn’t say no to a kiss, Kara said flirtatiously. “Shit. I did it again. What the hell is wrong with me? I am so sorry. I think I’m delirious from sleep deprivation.”

“No. It’s okay. I’m just feeling a little raw from my breakup. It’s nothing against you. You’re wonderful. I just can’t think about romance right now, but you’re sweet.”

“Are you okay? I mean in the elevator? Are you feeling better?”

“The lights are on and the message stopped. I am doing so much better now. Thank you Kara.”

“I’m glad. So, you sound pretty amazing. What the hell was this girlfriend of yours thinking?’

“So far, I have taken up your whole evening, distracted you from your important project, admitted every disturbing detail of my pathetic life, had a mini nervous breakdown and threatened to kiss you. What part of that sounds amazing?”

“That right there. You don’t even have to try to be cute.”

“The lights are on and the walls of this god awful elevator are mirrored. Don’t make me blush. “

Lena leaned against the wall and slid down to the ground again. She propped up her things behind her back and made a little seat. She kicked off her heels and settled in.

“Do you work late often?” Kara asked.

She turned the Christmas music back on.

**“Santa Claus Is Back In Town”, by Elvis Preseley played softly in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/5b1jXYUOgAX5QAHXPVHdld?si=OzO914gESY-fj0xmz4uMrQ**

“Every day. I’ll work tomorrow. I work every day. I guess that’s what happens when you have no family and no life. Jesus, why do I keep saying things like that. You must think I’m the most tragic person on the planet.”

“You’re not tragic or pathetic. I’ll be working tomorrow too. I guess we are doomed to be married to our jobs, even on Christmas Day.”

“Is it weird that I feel a little better knowing someone else will be at work?”

Kara laughed out loud.

“Not at all. I suppose I feel the same way. Misery loves company. Not that this part is miserable. It’s nice.”

“Is that Christmas music in the background?”

“Oh yeah. I turned it back on. I thought it would help us pass the time. I can turn it off if you prefer.”

“No. It’s actually kind of soothing. It almost makes me forget that I’m trapped in an elevator.”

“How’s that pee situation?”

“Thanks for reminding me”, Lena said, laughing heartily.

Her laugh was infectious. Kara joined in.

“Sorry. I’m a jerk.”

“No you are not.”

“You want to know a secret?”

“Sure”, Lena said still chuckling.

“Before you called I was dancing around my desk to Christmas music like a crazy person.”

“I love it. Self-soothing?”

“I was feeling sorry for myself. I looked around and realized there is no one around. Why not act completely insane? I guess working the long hours doesn’t really bother me. I love my family to death but this project needs to be completed. The office is dead quiet, I can play my music and dance around and talk to you, Lena Elevator.”

“Lena Elevator?”

“You won’t tell me your last name.”

“I would rather just...I don’t know.”

“I get it. Still feeling raw?” Kara asked.

“That and you sound completely batshit crazy”, Lena said, laughing hysterically.

Kara was silent for a brief moment and then exploded into laughter.

“So true. Protect yourself. I am batshit crazy.”

“You’re sweet”, Lena said with the softest, most sincere tone Kara had ever heard. “You’re my hero.”

“I’d probably be your hero if I could get someone down there. I feel like I’ve failed you. Let me call him again.”

**“Merry Christmas Baby”, by Otis Redding played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/2dbfjsBbi3nt0a173iUumA?si=zI_9l3ujQ2uKlWwehNvYrw**

“It’s okay. I can wait a little longer. Call him at the top of the hour if someone doesn’t come by then.”

“Merry Christmas, get you’re ass over here now!”, Kara said with a hearty chuckle.

“Exactly!”

“Are you really doing okay?”

“I am. I’m feeling pretty zen right now actually. If my bladder doesn’t explode, I should be good.”

“You sound a lot better than you did at the beginning of our call.”

“Thanks to you.”

“I didn’t do anything. I made a call.”

“What about the lights and the error message? You’re a genius! Well, you’re an engineer, so of course you’re a genius.”

“You give me way too much credit. You’re the fancy lawyer.”

“There’s nothing fancy about what I do, but work is what has been getting me through these days.

“I’m sorry that things have been so hard on you. Do you enjoy your work?”

“I do. I joke but I love my job. It’s exhausting, but I do myself no favors working the hours I do. I would dial it back but these days I need to keep my hands and my brain busy.”

“I know what that’s like. I wish these hours were my choice. I haven’t taken a vacation in two years. I would give anything in the world to spend one week solid, laying naked, wrapped in a beautiful woman’s arms somewhere hot and exotic. I’m so sick of the cold and snow. I want the sun and the heat on my face.”

“I want that for both of us. I think we both deserve a break.”

“Come with me. Come with me and let’s find the sun.”

Lena was silent for a long pause.

“I...I...thank you for the offer”, she said with a shaky voice.

Kara thought for a moment about how it all must have sounded.

“I’m sorry. I did it again. You need to heal and feel safe. You don’t need me coming onto you every five seconds.”

“Kara, you are sweet and you have made me smile and laugh for the first time in a long time. I just feel shaken and vulnerable right now. I feel helpless and weak and I swear I am not usually that person. Please understand, I am deeply indebted to you for everything you have done. I am so thankful that you stayed with me.”

“But...?”

“I can’t even entertain anything romantic right now. I need to clear my head and my heart.”

“Lena, I’m not asking for anything. I just want to be here for you. I’m here to support you as a friend.”

“Friendship I can do. Friendship works for me.”

Kara’s cell phone rang.

“Hold on a second Lena. My cell is ringing. I think it Joe.”

Kara picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi ma’am. My guy just arrived. He’s trying to get through to the trapped woman. Are you still on the line with her?”

“Yes!” Kara said excited. “I have her on the line.”

“Tell her that he is resetting the elevator now. The lights will probably go off and on and she will probably feel a jolt before the elevator begins to move. It might feel a little jarring but she should be out of there in no time. Tell her it should take 10 minutes and then everything will reset.”

“Great Joe. I’ll give the heads up. Thanks for your help.”

“It’s not often a woman threatens to come down and teach me a lesson. I respect that. Merry Christmas ma’am.”

“Marry Christmas Joe.”

Kara looked down at her watch. Ten minutes meant Lena would be free at the stroke of Midnight. A Christmas miracle of sorts.

Kara ended the call with Joe and returned to Lena.

“Lena, in nine minutes the system will reset. The lights will go off, you’ll feel a jolt but everything should start moving again. The call will probably drop too.”

“Right at midnight on Christmas Day?”

“I guess it is.”

“Hey, before I lose you. Thank you for all of your help. I really appreciate it.”

“Is there any chance we could meet for a drink? Your building is six blocks from my building.”

“I don’t think so Kara. You have been so kind and so patient but I really need to clear my head right now. I have really enjoyed our conversation but I need to work on myself and heal right now.”

“I guess I understand that.”

“You are lovely. It’s just me and I hope you can understand that.”

“I do. Really. Listen, if you change your mind, you know where to find me. I really enjoyed our conversation.”

“Me too. I just need some time really but thank you again.”

“It’s almost time Lena. Only two minutes to go. Merry Christmas Lena and Happy New Year. I hope this next year treats you with more kindness and you find your own sunny beach and beautiful woman.”

“Merry Christmas Kara. I hope you find your beach as well. You’ve been so kind. I feel kind of silly not telling you my last name. I’m Lena Lu...”, Lena said before the line went dead.

“Lena Lu? Is that her whole name? Was she cut off? Shit. I hope she’s okay.”

Kara hung up her office phone and turned up the music. She didn’t know Lena. She didn’t know her face or even her hair color. She had no idea whether she was short and fat or tall and skinny. She didn’t know what she daydreamed about or what her favorite food was.

They had never met before and there was no reason for her to feel sad saying goodbye, but she did feel sad. Lena was in pain and she wished she had the power to make that pain go away. Every bit of empathy in Kara’s heart seemed to hold onto the image of the mysterious woman, sprawled out on the floor, trying desperately to stay calm. She was vulnerable and suffering but Kara enjoyed talking to her.

She knew in her heart the best thing for Lena was to take the time she needed to heal, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to get to know her better. She knew in her heart that Lena wasn’t ready for anything, maybe not even friendship but she had to at least try and see if she could find the mysterious woman.

She opened a search window and typed in ‘Lena Lu Metropolis attorney’. This search returned 1,500 results. Evidently, Lu was a pretty common name in Metropolis.

“She told me the name of her firm. What was the name again? Damnit Kara! Think. I think it started with a G or maybe a J. Why didn’t I listen more. Shit.”

Kara tried searching Metropolis attorneys named Lena who did Mergers and Acquisitions. The list narrowed slightly but there were eight Lena Lus that practiced law and four who did Mergers and Acquisitions. Kara closed her eyes and stopped. She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes.

“Stop this Kara. Enough. She said it herself, she needs to heal. Let it go. She needs time and she knows where you are. Fuck. This is so inconvenient. Get a grip and get back to work.”

Kara took in a deep breath and let it out. She couldn’t stop her mind from drifting back to Lena.

“I hope you got out of that elevator safely Lena. I hope you’re on your way home to your whiskey and pajamas. Merry Christmas”, Kara whispered softly. Somehow, she felt sillier speaking out loud to Lena than dancing like a fool only a few hours before.

**“White Christmas”, by Otis Redding played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/3PD9zS9RFsRFuPel4CsmXe?si=P1Hk_aZaRAWX0MZFMH8qNA**


	3. Breaking Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wild search, an arrangement of flowers, a sad goodbye, and a wish.

The moment Lena stepped foot into her apartment, she broke down into tears. She wasn’t sure whether her tears stemmed from the relief of being freed from the elevator or from the pain and darkness in her heart.

She tossed her bags onto the couch, turned on the stereo and poured a large glass of scotch.

**“Soldier Of Love”, by Sade began to play.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/0bgsj8kz5zWbQ6njk2Oqoz?si=Lqp1pxXGS827LYHRUfZifA**

She drank down the entire glass and slammed it down on the table. The last month was the worst of her adult life. It seemed fitting that she would end the year, trapped in an elevator, contemplating public urination.

The only bright light in her night was her conversation with Kara. It was one of the best conversations she had in a very long time. She was always talking to aggressive attorneys and clients. Kara was the opposite of aggressive. She was soft and supportive in all the right ways and Lena needed someone who understood what she needed.

Speaking to Kara made her feel warm and safe, but it also scared her to death. Her heart and her emotions were still raw. She was crying constantly and her consumption of alcohol was bordering on concerning. She knew in her heart that she wasn’t ready to feel anything for anyone, but even her short time talking to Kara awoke something inside of her. Something that made her ache. Something that consumed her thoughts and her heart.

Hearing Kara reassure her made her feel stronger. If they had met at a different time, she would have ran to Kara’s building. If she was emotionally stable, she would have insisted on meeting Kara, but her heart just wasn’t ready. The stress and pain in her life was almost too much to bare. She knew in her heart that she wasn’t worthy to take up space in Kara’s precious world.

She wanted to see Kara’s face and meet her but she knew it wasn’t in the cards. She knew that she needed to heal and she couldn’t do that trying to start something up with someone new. She would need to be content with the memory of their conversation, but it was important to keep Kara at arms length. She could sense Kara wanting something more from her and she knew she just had nothing worth giving.

She would have to be content with the memory of their conversation. She knew Kara would never be hers but she would try and find a way to say thank you. She could do that much.

***

**“She Lit A Fire”, by Lord Huron.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/0zCckv4tx3KzJ5GGTRbbLf?si=Kb5q6L65TgygmUEh85vZCQ**

Kara searched for the next week trying to find the woman she spoke to. She went to the Tyson building and tried speaking to security about the trapped woman, but they had no idea what she was talking about. It turned out that having a woman trapped in the elevator on Christmas Eve was no big deal to the people who worked at the Tyson building.

Kara’s hope was renewed when she remember she could look at the list of law firms in the building. She ran to the elevator bank and looked at the list of the companies in the building. There were fifteen law firms in the building that started with a G. Kara wondered if she should fight to maintain her connection to Lena or if this was fate telling her to let it go.

Kara returned to the office and sat down at her desk. It was unusual for her to take any time for herself, but her mind was consumed by the mysterious woman.

Kara laid her head down on her desk and gently slammed her head onto the desk a few times.

“Come on Kara. Get a fucking grip. You never even saw her face”, Kara muttered to herself as she continued to pound her head against the desk. “Please let her be an ugly racist. Knowing my luck, she’s stunning. God, please help me.”

“Flower delivery”, a chipper voice said loudly behind Kara startling her.

“What?”, she asked turning around quickly.

Kara found Rebecca, the firm’s annoyingly chipper office assistant holding a massive arrangement of flowers.

“What is that?” Kara asked.

“They’re for you”, Rebecca said handing Kara the arrangement. “Someone must love you very much. This arrangement is breathtaking.”

Rebecca quickly scurried off and left Kara sitting there with half a flower shop in her hands. Kara set the arrangement down on the desk and pulled out the card.

_To my hero,_

_Thank you for all of your help the other night. I survived and celebrated with a glass of whiskey the size of my head. Your kindness and your words gave me the strength not to give up. For that, I will forever be thankful and indebted to you. You’re lovely. ~ Lena_

Kara looked at the envelope and the card. No address, no phone number. She gave Kara nothing.

“Come on Lena. Give me some help here. The flowers are beautiful, but I just want to talk to you. Maybe I could call the flower shop. Maybe they have your information.”

Kara reached for her phone when it began to ring. She picked it up. Even before Kara could speak, she heard Lena’s voice on the other line.

“Hello? Kara?”

A warmth rushed from the top of Kara’s head to the tips of of her toes.

“Hello. Yes. This is Kara.”

“Hi Kara, it’s Lena. The woman from the elevator on Christmas Eve.”

Kara couldn’t speak. There was just silence.

“The lawyer? The woman who was way too truthful with you? The woman who had to pee really bad.”

Suddenly, Kara started to laugh uncontrollably.

“I speak to so many strange women in elevators. Could you be more specific?” Kara asked teasing. “Hi Lena, how are you? It’s good to see you escaped.”

“I’m good. Did you receive my flowers?”

“I did. They are gorgeous. I’ve never seen flowers this nice before.”

“Good. That’s what I was aiming for. I wanted something that said ‘thanks for putting up with my insanity for hours and listening to me talk about how badly I needed to urinate’.”

“How was that first pee?”, Kara asked not caring how crass the question was.

“Heaven. I just grinned from ear to ear”, Lena said, equally oblivious to the social convention of not discussing bodily functions.

Kara chuckled loudly, which did not escape the notice of her co-workers around her. They looked up for a moment and gave her the side eye before returning to their work. Kara turned around and whispered into the phone. Normally she would have ended the call when she saw disapproving eyes but she couldn’t risk losing her again.

“I’m glad you called. I was kind of disappointed I didn’t get your number the other night and the call cut out in the middle of you saying your last name.”

“Oh. My last name is Luthor.”

“Ohhhh. There are probably some very confused women with the name Lena Lu out there right now.”

Now it was Lena who exploded into raucous laughter.

“What did you do to those poor Lena Lus? Never mind. I’m not sure I want to know.”

“I just hated the way our call ended the other day. I at least wanted to check in and make sure you got out of the elevator safely.”

“I was so glad you warned me about the reset. It was terrifying. All of the lights shut off and there was a loud noise and a jolt before the elevator started up again. It moved down normally and I was finally freed. I was so happy I cried a little. It was a little scary going through everything alone after having you there to keep me calm. That’s really why I sent the flowers. I really appreciate you getting me through everything. It was wonderful that you called Joe, but hearing your voice helped soothe me in a way you’ll never know.”

“I’m glad. All I wanted to do was make you smile so things didn’t feel so bad. I know you’ve had a terrible time and you weren’t exactly in the best place before you stepped onto that elevator.”

“Well, you succeeded in making me smile during the worst experience of my life and for that, I will forever be indebted to you. Forever, I mean it. Hey, I need to run into a meeting but I wanted to make sure you got your flowers and say thank you again.”

Kara panicked.

“Lena, before you go. Can I get your number?”

“I don’t know. Listen, I really enjoyed our conversation and I appreciate everything you did but I am just not in a great place right now emotionally. I know you probably want more. With everything that happened I just can’t give a whole lot right now.”

“I just want to be your friend.”

“How about this? Are you working late tonight?”

“Always.”

“Why don’t I call you tonight? We can talk while we work. Maybe it will make things less lonely and miserable.”

“That’s not a bad compromise.”

“I just feel a little sensitive right now. I need to take things very slow, even if this is just friendship.”

“Go as slow as you need to”, Kara said softly. She felt like she was a hostage negotiator, talking to a person standing on a very thin ledge. She knew she needed to be cautious and take it easy or she would scare her off. A huge part of her thought she should just walk away. Lena was clearly a little crazy and maybe not the most stable at the moment. Still, she liked her and she wanted to know her as much as she could.

“I will be here and you know where to find me. Just call me if you feel like talking, okay?”

“I will. Thank you for understanding, Kara and thank you for everything on Christmas Eve. You really were my hero.”

“Hearing your voice right now makes it all worth it.”

“I’ll call you tonight. Have a good day.”

“You too.”

***

Kara spent the remainder of the day completely distracted. The thought of Lena’s voice echoed in her mind. Really, she knew nothing about this woman, but she wanted to know her. She wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe it was because she had been working so much, she hadn’t been able to establish a real human connection with a woman in a while. Maybe it was because Lena was so deeply flawed, it gave Kara a purpose.

Maybe it was because the sound of Lena’s voice made their hairs on the back of her neck dance. All she knew was how thankful she was that Lena had reached out. So, she didn’t have her number. She had her name. She could now track her down and reach out to her but she had to respect Lena’s request for control and a slow pace. She knew if she pushed too hard, Lena would walk away.

***

It was half past eleven when Kara had given up hope that Lena would call. Her heart sank and she felt a sadness wash over her.

**“Head On”, by Man Man played softly through Kara’s computer.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/6pwYi8JStPRDK7bk2qul9w?si=XuVRYhPUQ6ajF08WVPLaGw**

“Maybe she decided I wasn’t interesting enough to talk to. Maybe she decided she wasn’t ready for a friend. Jesus Kara, maybe she just got busy and you need to stop overthinking this.”

Kara was so focused on her disappointment, she didn’t hear the first ring of her phone. When she realized it was ringing, she fumbled to answer it.

“Kleiner Shaw”, Kara said praying it was Lena.

“Hi Kara”, Lena said softly.

“Hi Lena.” A smile moved across her face and her checks flushed with heat.

“I’m sorry I’m calling so late. My secretary scheduled a nine pm client interview that ran long.”

Kara couldn’t help but grin.

_So, she was busy._

“All I wanted to do was kick the client out and call you.”

Now Kara’s heart leapt in her chest.

“No worries. I was just sitting here reviewing more calculations. We’re going to the build site tomorrow, so everything has to be ready.”

“I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“Not at all. It’s nice to have the company. No one else works these long hours, so I’m by myself. I like hearing your voice. So, what are you working on?”

“Two Purchase and Sale agreements and a few emails back to clients. Nothing interesting.”

“I think the law is very interesting.”

“You don’t have to lie, Kara. The law is boring, even to lawyers”, Lena said with a little chuckle.

“It’s not a lie. I think lawyers are brilliant. The law is so complicated. How do you remember all of the cases? I’m always fascinated when I watch legal dramas and lawyers are always firing off case names.”

Lena exploded into laughter.

“You’re cute.”

“Why thank you”, Kara said grinning. “I like to think so.”

“And you’re modest too.”

“Life is too short to be modest”, Kara said uncharacteristically playful. “I’m fucking awesome.”

“I agree. I think self-confidence is very attractive.”

“So, you think I’m attractive?”

Lena was silent. Kara could feel the awkwardness of her pause. She decided to move on. 

“So, I have a question for you”, Kara said. 

“Shoot.”

“How hard was it getting back into an elevator for work?”

“Pretty awful but I work on the 40th floor so stairs aren’t an option for me.”

“I’m impressed you didn’t just work from home.”

“Trust me, I considered it. Instead, I peed, grabbed water, some snacks, my warmest sweater, a blanket, an emergency radio, my trusty pocket knife, and clenched my jaw all the way up. I’m probably going to be a crazy prepper for a while.”

Kara knew Lena had suffered a serious trauma, but she was so honest, Kara couldn’t help but laugh.

“I am so sorry. Your delivery is just too funny.”

“I get it. It doesn’t sound funny in my mind and then I say it and even I have to laugh.”

“But, you were okay? Really?”

“I was. I made it to the 40th floor and I am strongly considering taking the stairs down when I go home. It should only take me an hour to get downstairs”, Lena said with a sad laugh.

“You’ll be okay. How about you tell me when you’re leaving and if I don’t hear from you within ten minutes I’ll call Joe.”

Lena chuckled. Kara wished she could see Lena’s smile but she knew Lena was sensitive and maybe had a screw loose. She needed to be careful and tread lightly.

“I like that idea. Thank you Kara.”

“Don’t mention it. I’m just your resident engineer, slash elevator hero.”

“I guess I’m lucky that you answered. What if it had been someone who didn’t speak English or a phone sex line? My whole evening could have gone very differently.”

“If it had been a phone sex line, your evening definitely would have gone very differently. You may have not wanted to leave the elevator. Sorry you ended up with the boring engineering firm.”

“It got sexy there when you were talking to Joe. I wonder what he looks like.”

“He sounded like he was about five feet tall, covered in body hair and prematurely balding. I’m seeing Danny Devito in my head.”

“Yikes. Okay. There’s an image that will be burned in my mind for eternity. Thanks Kara.”

“I like when you say my name”, Kara said before she thought about the way it sounded. She meant it. She liked the way Lena said her name.

Lena said nothing. There was just silence.

“Lena? You there?”

“Yeah. I...I just...well”, Lena stammered.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Listen, I am keenly aware that I keep saying things that are too much and I apologize. I will really try and do better. I just meant that it’s nice to talk to you.”

Kara could hear Lena breathing and thinking about what Kara just said.

“Okay. Kara, I’m okay talking, but we need to keep this completely platonic. I just can’t start anything. I hope you understand.”

“I do. Hey Lena, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay. Actually, I think I’m going to go. It’s late and I might treat myself to a full six hours sleep.”

“I hope I’m not the reason you are going.”

“Nope. I just need to head home.”

“Can we talk again? I mean...no pressure. I’m here if you want to talk and I promise I will be be on my best behavior.”

“Kara, you are so sweet. You are such a wonderful person, but I don’t know if I can handle this right now. Thank you for your help. Thank you for everything.”

“Please don’t go.”

“I should. I should go but Kara, you are amazing. I mean that. I hope the next girl you rescue from an elevator isn’t fucked up in the head and emotionally unavailable. You are truly exceptional and any girl who wasn’t screwed up in the head would be very lucky to be with you. You don’t deserve this. I’m just not right at the moment. I might be someday but not now.”

“Lena, please don’t hang up. I’m sorry if I pushed too hard.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s me who is sorry. I never should have let this go this far. I just wanted to say thank you. I just wanted to say how I appreciate your kindness and I think you might be the most interesting person I’ve met in a while...maybe ever.”

“I understand and I really don’t understand. I don’t like saying goodbye.”

“Kara, you’re exceptional. Go out there and find a woman who will love the hell out of you. Whoever she is will be a very lucky woman. Goodbye Kara.”

“Lena...okay. Goodbye.”

The phone went dead and Kara sat back in her chair, wondering where she went wrong. She hung up the phone and took a deep breath.

“Fuck.”

***

**“Empty”, by Ray LaMontagne played through Lena’s office.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/33JX2be3eKVhl5xk8YQhVc?si=frclOoZ9Tbmh69koYUAm2A**

Lena hung up the phone and immediately began to sob. Her heart hurt and her body ached. Everything in her wanted to continue to talk to Kara, but she knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t feel something intense so soon. She couldn’t like someone and she knew she would like Kara. Kara deserved more than to just be a rebound. Lena knew in her heart she was doing the right thing. Not the easy thing. The easy thing would be to talk to Kara, play with her heart, but never be able to give her the same love Kara could show. No, the right thing was to walk away and let Kara find someone she deserved. Someone warm and sweet. Not someone fucked up and emotionally and psychologically broken.

She opened her computer and brought up the webpage for Kleiner Shaw. She found a picture of Kara and stared at it for a brief moment. She pressed her fingertips to her face on the screen and she sobbed more.

“I wish things were different Kara. I wish my heart or my head were healthy enough to give you everything, but I’m afraid I’m just too big of a fucking mess right now. Your voice will haunt my dreams. Your face will be burned in my mind, always.”

Lena closed the lid of her laptop hard. She opened her drawer and pulled out a bottle of cheap whiskey.

“I guess if it’s meant to be, we will meet again someday.”

***

**TWO YEARS LATER**

Kara and her sister Alex stood in the middle of the department store on Christmas Eve waiting in an enormous line to pay.

“Jesus Kar, why the hell did we wait until the last minute to get Mom’s gift?”

“Insanity. That’s the only response I can give you. We must have been stark raving mad to think this was a good idea. We’re going to be standing here waiting until Valentine’s Day.”

“At least they have a wrapping station. I can’t deal with the idea of wrapping her present after all of this.”

“Hopefully Mom likes it.”

“Are you kidding? Mom would like anything. Maybe we can scrap this, head home and make her cards and cookies like we used to.”

“Somehow I don’t think that would go over well. We’re grown ass adults. We need to get her something special.”

“LENA LUTHOR!”, a loud voice bellowed from the wrapping counter.

“LENA LUTHOR! Your package is ready. Please pick it up around the corner.

Kara’s heart leapt out of her chest and sank at the same time.

“Alex, did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“Do you remember that night? Christmas Eve two years ago when I talked to that woman who was stuck in the elevator?”

“You mean the woman you said broke your heart even though you never met her?”

“Shut up, but yes. That name they are calling out. That’s her name. Lena Luthor. She could be right around the corner.”

“You have a girlfriend Kar. She’s not all there upstairs in the brain department but she’s hot. Don’t go chasing a ghost.”

“Sorry Alex. Stay here. I need to go check and see if it is her.”

Kara thrust the food processor into Alex’s arms and ran around the corner. She looked around the table where they were handing off the wrapped presents. She ran up to the table and frantically cut in front of people in line. She grabbed a mousy man’s shirt and looked him dead in the eyes.

“Excuse me. Did someone named Lena Luthor just pick up her package?”

“Yes. She just walked away. That’s her right there”, the mousy man said pointing at a woman with long black hair. She wore a camel hair coat and walked away at a brisk pace.

“Thank you!”, Kara said to the man as she let go of his shirt.

Kara ran through the department store after Lena. It was as though fate had brought them together but cruelly threw road blocks in her path. First an elderly woman stepped in front of her and walked as slow as humanly possible. Next, a mother and her young daughter walked and stopped to enjoy the Christmas lights. Kara growled.

Finally, Kara ran outside and looked around but the woman with the long dark hair was gone.

“Fuck. Fuck. Mother fucking fuck fuck.”

**“Ooh La La”, by Faces**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/4lJ6YVXQ0jUk5ILu0PSrA4?si=BrM6ju9PQ1CdhqWnjg6RDQ**

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”, a voice asked from behind her.

Kara turned around slowly and saw a stunningly beautiful woman with long black hair and the greenest eyes she had ever seen. Her ruby red lips parted and she smiled so effortlessly, Kara wanted to weep.

“Lena?”

“Kara?”

The two women stood only a few feet apart. Snow began to fall on their heads as they stared deep into each other’s eyes.

”I can’t believe it’s you”, Lena whispered. 


	4. Serendipity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena finally share a moment together in the snow.

“How long has it been?”, Kara asked knowing the answer.

“Two years exactly tonight”, Lena said with a bright smile. Her eyes glistened and she took a small step towards Kara.

“How did you know I was here?” Lena asked.

“The gift wrap station. I heard them call out your name. Luthor doesn’t strike me as a very common name so I had to check. How did you know who I was?”

“I confess, I did an internet search for you two years ago and brought up a picture. I knew your face. I knew your smile and those eyes. Your face has been burned in my mind.”

Lena seemed relaxed and at ease. Kara couldn’t help but be surprised. She seemed very different from the Lena who ran away from her two years before.

“This is surreal. I’ve thought about you often over the last two years.”

“I’ve thought of you as well. More often than I would like to admit, Lena said with a blush on her cheek.

“You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen, Lena.”

Kara’s heart sank into her stomach. It was words like this that scared Lena off the first time. Kara wondered to herself silently why she had such terrible impulse control when she heard Lena’s voice.

“I’m sorry”, Kara said looking down at the ground.

Lena stepped forward and took Kara’s hand.

“You should be”, Lena whispered.

Kara’s face fell.

“Fuck. I’m sorry.”

Lena stepped closer and pressed Kara’s hand to her chest.

“You’ve looked in the mirror right? Clearly, you have the most beautiful eyes on the planet. I’ve never seen anything so blue.”

Kara felt a rush of heat spread through every inch of her body. Her knees got weak and she felt the dizzying effects of their intense chemistry. Suddenly, she felt lightheaded and she almost collapsed. Lena saw Kara falter on her feet and grabbed her before she fell. She helped her over to a bench and they took a seat side by side. Lena continued to hold her hand. Her brow was furrowed with worry.

Alex walked out of the department store holding the food processor. She looked around and made eye contact with Kara. Kara could sense her disapproval from a mile away.

“Well that was hellish”, Alex said directly to Kara. She looked over at Lena and did a double take. Something about Lena shook her.

In all fairness to Alex, Lena was exceptionally beautiful. Her long black hair was shiny and smooth. The glow from the white lights twinkling all around them made her emerald eyes sparkle. She wore a beautiful camel hair coat and a white cowl neck sweater. Kara looked over at Lena and she wanted to know what it would feel like to be wrapped up in her arms.

“So, you’re miss-stuck-in-the-elevator-on-Christmas-Eve?” Alex asked with an upturned grin. “You’re fucking gorgeous.”

“Jesus Alex”, Kara said totally embarrassed.

Lena let out a loud belly laugh and smiled sweetly.

“I see neither of the Danvers girls have a filter. Thank you for saying I’m fucking gorgeous. You are both fucking stunning.”

Both Alex and Kara blushed and smiled. Kara did not remember Lena being this charming. She mostly remembered her being sad and broken.

“Hey Kar, I’m sorry to interrupt but everyone will be getting to my place soon. We should probably head back.”

Kara looked at Lena and back at Alex.

“Lena, can you give me a sec?”

“Of course.”

Kara leapt up from the bench, fully recovered from her dizzy spell, and grabbed Alex’s arm. She pulled her away out of earshot and whispered quietly.

“You go to your place. I just need a few minutes.”

“Kar, this is a bad idea. You know I don’t like your girlfriend, but you have a girlfriend and I saw the way the two of you looked at each other.”

“Nothing is going to happen. Listen, you have no idea what kind of effect this woman has on me. We spoke for a few hours and she did something to me. Something I never expected, and she makes me feel things no other woman has ever made me feel.”

“Kar, I think this is a terrible idea, but I’d be an asshole if I didn’t support you. It is Christmas Eve. Just don’t do anything stupid. Figure out what you need to figure out and get your ass to my place as soon as you can.”

“I will. Thank you Alex. I love you”, Kara said throwing her arms around Alex’s neck.

Kara let go of Alex and they started walking in separate directions.

Alex turned around and called out.

“Hey Kar!”

“Yeah Alex. What’s up?”

“She gorgeous. I get it.”

“I fell in love with her long before I saw her face. I didn’t see it until tonight.”

Alex’s upturned grin told Kara that she was moved by their story.

“Go, see if you can find what you’re looking for.”

Alex turned and walked away.

Kara walked back and rejoined Lena on the bench.

“How are you feeling?”, Lena asked.

“Good”, Kara said with a bright smile.

“So, what have you been up to for the last two years? The last time we spoke, you were working on that beautiful airport and checking everyone else’s work.”

“I moved to a different firm called Sheller Blackstone. It’s an engineering firm run and operated by women and it is the best job in the world. I love it. I am a senior engineer and I have a team. It’s a much better fit.”

“Can I admit something a little embarrassing?”

“Sure.”

“About a year ago. Actually, it was exactly a year ago, I was working in my office on Christmas Eve and I was thinking about you. I tried calling your old desk line but it went to someone else’s voicemail.”

“Really? You tried to call?”

“Yeah. Stupid right? Of course you moved on.”

“It’s not stupid at all. I wish I had been there to receive your call. What about you? What are you up to?”

“I moved to a different better firm. Mason Paddock Roy. I made partner. It’s a good job...I just...”, Lena said before Kara interrupted.

“I know that firm. I think our firm does work with your firm.”

“Small world. Funny that we never ran into each other.”

Lena smiled but her eyes looked sad. She looked like she wanted to say something but Kara was too elated to notice. She was just happy to be talking to Lena.

“So, it sounds like we are both in a better place now.”

“Sounds like it. I don’t know how to ask this next question and tread lightly so I’ll just ask. How’s the drinking?”

Lena put a hand on Kara’s arm and laughed. It was a real genuine belly laugh.

“You don’t have to tiptoe around my crazy functioning alcoholism. Shortly after you and I shared that amazing conversation in the elevator, I pulled my act together and stopped drinking. I started going to the gym and didn’t date for a year. You have no idea how hard it was trying to explain to women that I was taking time for me. They just didn’t get it.”

“You seem happier, more centered.”

“I am. Much happier. How are you feeling? Are you seeing anyone?” Lena asked.

Kara didn’t want to say anything that would ruin their connection, but she knew she had to be honest.

“I am. Her name is Erin. How about you?”

“Nope. I went on a few dates but I had this pesky engineer stuck in my mind. The girls I tried to date just weren’t smart enough or sweet enough. I guess I set some pretty high expectations.”

Kara felt a flutter and a tingle in her chest.

_Fuck._

“You’re sweet”, Kara said, deeply moved by Lena’s honesty. This was everything she wanted two years ago but now she had a girlfriend and Alex was right. She needed to do the right thing.

“Now, I fear I’m making you uncomfortable. I’m sorry.”

Kara moved closer to Lena on the bench. Their bodies were only inches apart.

“You could never make me feel uncomfortable. You are so honest and so kind.”

Sweet holiday music played in the background.

**“Please Come Home For Christmas”, by Aaron Neville played loudly in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/00TuAlmDT4ILjpoQEIsRlP?si=BUQN3d11RTSIhbZnNpOc6w**

Lena looked deep into Kara’s eyes. Kara felt overwhelmed by Lena’s beauty. Their connection was undeniable. She could feel an invisible electricity dance between them, a tether between their souls.

“Dance with me?” Kara asked Lena.

Lena smiled.

“But I thought you had a girlfriend.”

Kara beamed.

“It’s just a dance. Perfect strangers dance. How about we keep a respectful distance?”

Kara stood up and put a hand out to Lena. Lena took her hand and they moved into an empty space next to the bench. The lights twinkled and the night felt magical. Kara placed her hands on Lena’s waist and kept a respectful distance. Lena placed her hands on Kara’s shoulders and they began to sway to the music. They only had eyes for each other. Neither of them cared who watched or looked on. Neither of them cared if they looked crazy. They only knew they wanted to be close.

“See. This is completely harmless. We are just two people sharing a nice dance”

More snow started to fall from the sky. Lena stared into her eyes and Kara started to feel her knees go weak again. Snowflakes fell onto Lena’s eyelashes. Kara wanted desperately to press her lips to Lena’s eyes. Instead, she puffed out her chest, stood tall and tried to cover the fact that Lena’s perfume was hypnotizing her and weakening her impulse control again. All she wanted was to kiss her lips.

“So, your sister seems nice.”

“Sorry she was such a dork. I think she was taken aback by your beauty. I know I was. I don’t know if she will ever recover from hearing you call her fucking stunning. That was amazing. You’re amazing.”

“You’re pretty amazing yourself.”

“You have a brother right?”

“I do. Good memory.”

“But you’re not close?”

“Nope. Lex and my stepmom are a bit much. They live very new money and are just judgmental dickheads.”

“Wow. Judgmental dickheads? Your Christmas spirit is awe-inspiring”, Kara said with a chuckle.

She moved her hands up to Lena’s waist and held her a little closer. Lena joined in on her laughter and moved a hand to her neck.

More romantic music played as they continued to sway closer and closer together.

**“The Christmas Song”, by Nat King Cole played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/4PS1e8f2LvuTFgUs1Cn3ON?si=obas9ciLQ3WhqeKitu6k5w**

“I know. I need to get a better filter.”

“You’re telling me. I have no filter at all. That’s what got me into trouble with you last time. By the way, I’m really sorry about that.”

Lena gave Kara a sad smile and moved her other hand to Kara’s neck.

Now they were dancing a little closer.

“You have no reason to be sorry, Kara. It was never about you. You were warm, charming and so supportive. You were everything I needed, I just wasn’t in a place where I could give myself to you completely. I wanted to so bad.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“When you called me a year ago, what were you going to say?”

“I have no clue. I think I could have asked how work was going. I probably would have had you tell me what brilliant project you were working on. I would have told you that I spent the last year getting myself to a place where I felt like I could possibly explore something with you. I would have told you that your voice and your words consumed me, and that when I was laying in bed at night, I thought of you and hoped you were okay. I might have asked you if you wanted to have coffee or a drink. Maybe dinner. I don’t know. Something like that.”

Kara wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist and pulled her closer. The dance was beginning to feel less like two strangers on a dance floor. It was starting to feel more romantic by the second. Lena locked her fingers behind Kara’s neck and held on a little tighter. Their faces were a little closer and Kara reveled at the feeling of Lena’s breath on her cheek.

“What would you have said to me if you answered that call a year ago?”

“I suppose my first move would have been to put you on hold so I could squeal with delight.”

“That is the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard.” Lena ran her thumb along the back of Kara’s neck. This simple act sent shivers up and down Kara’s spine.

“After that, I would have come back on the line and asked you if we could meet for coffee, drinks or dinner immediately. You know how great I am at impulse control.”

Lena laughed and moved a hand to Kara’s chest.

“I could totally see that happening. Your lack of impulse control is what scared me a little, but I see now that it is one of your most charming qualities. When you love, you love with your whole heart.”

“I wish I had been there to pick up that call”, Kara whispered softly. They were the most sincere words Kara ever uttered.

“Me too. Hey, you have a Christmas Eve party to get to and I have packing to do.”

“Packing? Are you going somewhere for Christmas?”

“I’m moving to Ireland for six months. I leave in two days.”

“What? Why?” Kara asked unable to hide her shock and disappointment.

“We have a huge merger we are putting together and they want me to see it through with our Irish attorneys.”

“So, you won’t be here for the New Year?”

“Nope.”

Lena could see that Kara was upset. She stopped swaying to the music and moved her hands to Kara’s face.

“Are you okay, Kara?”

“I know this sounds stupid because I have a girlfriend and am completely unavailable, but I just found you. I just found you and I am losing you again.”

“I’m going to give you all of my information this time. You’ll have everything if you ever need me. I will only be a phone call away.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I wasn’t ready before because I felt like if it wasn’t for me and my insane baggage, we would have been amazing together. This time around, you have a girlfriend and I’m much healthier I think. Well, I’m drinking far less so that’s great.”

“Why do I hate that you’re leaving so much?”

“Maybe because there is a touch of serendipity in all of this. Have you ever seen that movie? It feels a little magical that you and I met on Christmas Eve. The fact that we just happened to reconnect on Christmas Eve, in a completely different place is kind of amazing. What were the odds?”

“Do you believe in destiny?”

“Before all of this I didn’t. I’m Catholic so I always believed my life was in the hands of God. There was something divine about our meeting. I guess if we are meant to be, destiny or divine intervention will play a part. I feel it”, Lena said smiling.

“What if this is it?”

“I go to Ireland, you stay here with the girlfriend who doesn’t deserve you, and we see if destiny will give us a second chance. In the meantime, you can always call.”

“Even when you’re in Ireland?”

“Especially while I’m in Ireland. I will need to hear familiar voices that will bring me comfort.”

“And my voice brings you comfort?”

“More than you will ever know.”

Kara wrapped an arm around Lena even tighter and and held the hand that Lena rested on her chest. Now they swayed together and danced like two lovers.

**“I’d Like You For Christmas”, by Julie London played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/1BjZNWyCiQMCcj8zaiNSYE?si=s9qImqZgSHmzzMQk6tdWkQ**

“Kara...”, Lena started to say.

“Are you okay, Lena?”

Lena pressed her cheek to Kara’s and closed her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For not doing this two years ago”, Lena whispered as she pressed her forehead to Kara’s forehead.

“You weren’t ready. I guess our timing just hasn’t been very good.”

“It’s been terrible, but the memory of this dance will sustain me for a lifetime. I have dreamed of dancing with you for the last year.” Lena smiled but her eyes were sad.

“I hate that I didn’t know. Stupid new amazing job.”

“I’m glad you’re happy. Can I ask you another terrible question?”

“Of course. I think we’ve established we can be honest.”

“This girlfriend of yours. Do you love her?”

“There are things about her I like. She can also be overbearing, aggressive, moody and rude. I think she might be cheating on me.”

“She sounds amazing”, Lena said sarcastically trying to stifle her laughter.

“Alex hates her. She calls her ‘airhead’ to her face.”

“I like Alex. Why are you with someone you don’t like?”

“I suppose I didn’t want to over commit to someone when I knew you...I mean someone more suitable might be rattling around out there trying to call my old desk phone.”

“I wish I wasn’t leaving.”

“Me too. You said a couple days?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I consider this one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever accidentally received. Being here with you in person, finally seeing you...it’s all I could have asked for.”

“Same here. It’s pretty spectacular.”

“I really should go though. Alex will have my head if I miss the party.”

“I wish I didn’t have to let go.”

“Me too.”

Kara wrapped both arms around Lena and pulled her in as close as she could. Lena wrapped her arms around Kara’s neck and her eyes welled up with tears.

“You are so beautiful Kara Danvers. I hope you know that.”

“You’re beautiful too Lena. I hope you have a good time in Ireland and find what you’re looking for.”

“It’s a job and I think, unfortunately for the both of us, I found what I’m looking for right here.”

Kara pressed her cheek to Lena’s and kissed it softly.

***

They danced until the end of the song and pulled their bodies away from each other. It felt cold and hallow when they weren’t wrapped in each other’s arms. Lena gave Kara a business card with all of her information on it.

“This has everything including my home address. I know it’s a shot in the dark, but I have to try. If you come to your senses and decide to break up with that girlfriend you don’t especially like, come and find me. I’ll be at home packing.”

“It’s Christmas. Even I’m not that cruel”, Kara said with a sad smile.

“I get it but a girl has to try right?”

Kara gave Lena a business card with all of her information as well. They stood there in the snow with the sparkle of the lights all around them and neither of them knew how to say goodbye.

“Why is it so hard for me to leave?” Kara asked.

“Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to close your eyes and count to ten. When you open your eyes, I will be gone and it will all feel like some kind of magical dream.”

“Okay”, Kara said already feeling sad. “I guess it’s time.”

Kara closed her eyes and shivered a little.

“I feel so cold without you in my arms”, Kara said, her eyes still closed tight.

Lena pulled off the scarf that draped over the shoulders of her coat and wrapped it around Kara’s neck. She leaned in and kissed Kara’s lips softly. Kara’s heart raced and her pulse quickened. She reached out, longing to take Lena into her arms. Kara felt the gentle caress of Lena’s hand on her cheek. She took in the feel of her touch. Her hand moved away, and then she felt nothing.

She waited a beat and opened her eyes. Lena was gone. Kara pulled the scarf off and pressed it to her face. It smelled like Lena. She couldn’t quite tell what the smell was. It was just fresh and clean and smelled like home. Kara wrapped the scarf around her neck again and smiled. It was terrible saying goodbye but destiny had given her one of the greatest gifts she had ever received.


	5. Setting A Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara makes a decision and finds Lena more broken than ever. 
> 
> This chapter has a choose your own adventure. Please let me know what you think.

Lena sat on the floor of her living room surrounded by clothing, toiletries and other odds and ends she was planning on taking to Ireland.

Music played softly in the background and she sipped at a glass of sparkling cider.

**“Sleep”, by Azure Ray played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/5viL6E7yylGtpuANKZxFJm?si=br9tU6_BRAaPQbKC1hSJtQ**

Her apartment was utter chaos, but that was to be expected with such a huge move. She was relieved that Sam would be staying at her place while she was gone. At least she had that one comfort. The idea of spending six months in a foreign country was not attractive to her even though everyone she spoke to expected her to be thrilled with the “new adventure.” Lena didn’t want adventure. She wanted Kara. Lena buried her face in her hands and chuckled sadly. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she was still in a better place than she was two years before.

“Merry Christmas Lena. You’re still a hot fucking mess. You’re surrounded by all of your shit, you’re all by yourself on Christmas Eve again, and you gave up alcohol so there is no blocking this shit out. Reminder to self, start drinking again. Your conversations with yourself were so much more interesting when you were drinking. You’re just fucking dull. Who the fuck are you calling dull? Oh my God. I need to get a pet or something.”

A loud knock at the door startled Lena. Her hand jerked and the sparkling cider went flying all over her. She set the glass down on the table and tried, in vain, to wipe the sticky mess from her face. She got to her feet and made her way to the door.

“I should probably ask who is at the door, but maybe it will be a serial killer and they will put me out of my fucking misery.”

Lena unlocked the door and threw it open.

All of the breath left Lena’s body.

“Hi Lena”, Kara said with a sweet smile.

“You’re not a serial killer.”

“Is that a compliment or an insult?” Kara asked with a little chuckle.

“Fuck. I’m sorry. Let me start again. Hi Kara.”

“Listen, before you tell me that it’s super gross that I’m here because I have a girlfriend, you should know that I went to Alex’s party, found Erin, and asked her if she was cheating on me.”

“What did she say?”

“She said, and this is a direct quote, ‘Hell fucking yes I’m cheating on you. All you do is work all the time and I need more attention that that’.”

Lena had to work to stifle her laughter, but it was too terrible not to laugh a little.

“Holy shit that is awful. Why are you with her?”

“I’m not with her anymore. I gave her a huge kiss on the lips and thanked her for being such a despicable cheating moron. We broke up in front of my whole family and it was glorious. Alex handed me my keys and told me to get the hell out of her apartment or she was going to throw my Christmas present into the fireplace. She meant it.”

“Did you really call her a despicable cheating moron?”, Lena asked moving closer to Lena. She couldn’t help but smile.

“I know you’re leaving in two days. I know you’re leaving and you need to concentrate on work for the next six months, but I had to come. I had to come and tell you that when you pulled away and stopped talking to me, I was crushed. I was crushed because I liked you. I mean, I know I didn’t really know you but I liked you a lot. I had to tell you that as much as I wanted to understand your decision, I didn’t. Not fully. So, you felt a little crazy. We are all crazy. I can be full-on batshit crazy sometimes.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t fully explain what was happening to me two years ago. I was in a much darker place than I let on. I wanted to tell you the truth but you were so warm and sweet. You just exude this amazingly positive energy and I was in such a terrible place. How could I tell you that no matter what words you said, no matter how kind you were, my life was terrible. Of course, you would have been the bright spot. Talking to you was my bright spot. I just couldn’t subject you to my demons and I had plenty of them. Kara, I am just so sorry. You have every right to hate me for not being brave enough two years ago.”

“I’m not here for an apology Lena. It’s nice to hear you say it, but that’s not why I’m here.”

“Why are you here?”

“When we danced in the snow, when I finally looked into your eyes, time stopped. I have spent the last two years longing to hear your voice again. I’ve spent the last two years wanting to yell at you for walking away, but everything froze when I held you in my arms.”

“You have every right to hate me. I don’t know why I thought...fuck. Never mind.”

Kara stepped forward and wrapped one hand around Lena’s waist.

“Say it. I don’t hate you. Please just say it.”

“I never expected to care about you the way I do. I was not ready for the intensity of our connection. I couldn’t stop shaking. I wasn’t ready for you to be more beautiful, passionate, charming, and intelligent than anyone I’ve ever met. I wasn’t ready to care about you the way I do. It was insane but in a good way, you know?”

“You’re doing just fine.”

Lena stepped forward and placed a hand on each side of Kara’s neck. Her eyes welled up with tears and she clenched her jaw.

“But...when I saw you tonight, I hated myself. I hated myself because all I wanted was to kiss your lips. I’m leaving in two days and you have a girlfriend, I mean, you had a girlfriend. I hated myself because I desperately wanted to know what your mouth tastes like. I wanted to bury my face in your neck and feel you hold me without hesitation. I wanted to know what your moans would sound like if I touched you. I longed to feel the weight of your body pressing into mine. God, I sound like a fucking crazy person.”

“You don’t sound like a crazy person, but you’re leaving in two days.”

“I am.”

“Now it’s me that is feeling scared.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“What you make me feel.”

“I called you a year ago because I wanted to find you. I called you a year ago because your face and your voice has haunted me every minute of every day. Every time I pause during the day, I’m thinking of you. Every time I can’t catch my breath, it’s because I hear your laugh and I want to weep with want. I have never deserved you. I have never deserved your kindness or your compassion, but you gave it to me anyway. I can’t love you. I don’t know you but what I feel for you is as close to love as a perfect stranger can feel for you.”

“I should go”, Kara said stepping back. Lena’s hands fell away from Kara’s neck as she pulled away. “Enjoy Ireland Lena.”

“Please don’t go.”

“I need to go. This is all too much. Merry Christmas, Lena.”

“Merry Christmas, Kara.”

Kara turned around and walked back down the hallway towards the elevators.

Lena’s head dropped and she walked back inside her apartment. She hit her head with the palm of her hand.

“Well, that went fucking great. Nicely done Lena. Why couldn’t it have been a serial killer? That would have hurt less. Fuck. I don’t fucking deserve her. Fuck.”

Lena went to close the door, but she felt a hand stop the door.

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Kara asked from behind the door. Lena pulled the door open.

“I don’t understand. I thought you were leaving.”

“I was just messing with you”, Kara said with a little smile. “Now invite me in because I have thought about you pretty much every minute for the last two years and I have no intention of letting you go to Ireland without finding out how every inch of you tastes.”

Lena grabbed Kara’s shirt and pulled her inside. Kara shut the door behind them and pressed her mouth to Lena’s hungrily. Lena grabbed Kara and kissed her back with passionate fervor. Kara stopped and smiled.

“You taste so sweet and your face is kind of sticky”, Kara said grinning.

“I had a minor mishap with some sparkling cider earlier. Lena felt her face and it was very sticky. 

“So, no whiskey tonight? I like the taste of the cider better.”

“Nope. Like I said. Things have changed a lot in the last two years.”

“Come with me. I promise I’ll wash my face.”

“Don’t you dare. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

**** CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE:**

**To continue on a romantic adventure, stay tuned for Chapter Six.**

**To read something smutty and naughty, go here:**

********https://archiveofourown.org/works/18992530/chapters/52705654********

**This is gratuitous smut. Pure and simple. If your sensitive, just wait for Chapter Six.**

**  
****When you’re done reading, return here to Chapter Six to continue on. Please share your thoughts and let me know how you like the adventure.****


	6. Cold Is The NIght

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sweet morning shared, a terrible accident, a misunderstanding, and two broken hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this story accidentally became my homage to all of my favorite romantic movies. Serendipity, I Can’t Think Straight, and of course, An Affair to Remember. This chapter is like An Affair to Remember if Deborah Kerr and Cary Grant swore a whole lot more and were two tragic lesbians in love. Inspiration comes in all forms. Thanks as always for reading.

Kara tiptoed through Lena’s bedroom trying not to wake her as she gathered up her clothes. The flaxen-haired engineer, who prided herself on her cat-like reflexes, stepped wrong, tripped over her own shoes and ate it hard onto the floor right next to Lena’s side of the bed. Kara closed her eyes and held her breathe. She thought she was in the clear until she heard Lena’s voice.

“Kara?” Lena whispered.

“Oh hey Lena”, Kara said casually into the floorboard.

Lena rolled over to the edge of the bed and found Kara laying face down on the floor, her feet tangled in her own shoes and part of the sheet that had fallen to the ground.

“Sneaking out?” Lena asked with a little smile, and without a hint of judgement.

“No. Not at all. I just shouldn’t have stayed as long as I did. I am pretty sure my sister is going to crucify me. I left you a long note.”

“Come here”, Lena said beckoning Kara back to bed. She moved over to make room.

“Fuck it”, Kara said getting up and laying down next to Lena’s very warm and very naked body.

Lena wrapped her arms around Kara and held on tight. Kara buried her face in Lena’s neck and closed her eyes.

“Merry Christmas Lena.”

“Merry Christmas Kara.”

“I hate that you are leaving but I kind of got my Christmas wish.”

“Me too. I never imagined my wish would come true last night. Listen, long distance is balls. It’s messy and tricky and I have no expectations that you will ...oh my God. Never mind. I just, it’s too early. Will you call me?”

Kara smiled.

“Of course. Did you just say ‘long distance is balls’? You never cease to amaze me, Lena. Will you be working late hours in Ireland?”

“Very. I may work so late, I’ll sync up with your time zone”, Lena said with a sad chuckle. “I’ll be a in a foreign country by myself, so it will be work work work all of the time.”

“You don’t sound happy about your trip at all.”

“Not even a little. It’s not some great big adventure. It’s not some grand vacation. It is me being sent to work on a merger I think is a terrible idea, but what can you do?”

“My only advice is, if you hate something about your life, change it. “

“Sound advice. Hey, what’s in that letter of yours?”

“Ugh, mushy stuff that I have no intention of sticking around to hear you read”, Kara said with a blush on her cheek.

“Aww, come on. Read it to me. Make it my Christmas present.”

“What I did to you last night was your Christmas present.”

“What you did to me last night was my Christmas, Hanukkah, and Valentine’s Day present”, Lena said with a very seductive tone.

“I wish I could stay but family obligations suck.”

“There are no obligations whatsoever here, but please call me. My US cell and my office line will roll to my numbers in Ireland. You have everything on that business card. Be careful with it.”

“Of course I will, Kara said with a wink and a smile.

Kara pulled back and looked deep into Lena’s eyes. The morning light hit her face just right and Kara was speechless.

“You are so beautiful, Lena. So fucking beautiful.”

“This is our thing isn’t it. Adding ‘fucking’ to all of our compliments?” Lena asked with a chuckle.

“You’re fucking amazing Kara. Please call.”

“I will.”

“Okay, get out of my bed at once, you cad. Go explain to your sister that you chose to make love to a strange woman you met in an elevator rather than spend Christmas Eve with your loving family.”

“Well, when you put it that way, maybe I should stay here. She is definitely going to kill me. My present is definitely in the fireplace right now”, Kara said caressing Lena’s hair.

Lena just stared at Kara, her eyes bright and full of bittersweet tears.

“Lena, seriously, this was a dream come true. I’m going to grab a play from your playbook and say, close your eyes, count to ten and then I’ll be gone. After I leave, read my letter and I’ll call you later. Maybe if you don’t mind, maybe I can take you to the airport.”

Lena lit up.

“Really? I would love that, but you know you don’t have to. There are no obligations here. You don’t even have to call. I expect nothing from you but I will gladly take anything you are willing to give me.”

“I will call you. Now, close your eyes and count to ten.”

Lena closed her eyes and Kara started to move away. Lena grabbed onto Kara and wouldn’t let go.

“I vaguely remember this being a lot more successful when you did it.”

“Sorry. You just smell so good.”

“I smell like your bubble bath.”

Lena leaned in and kissed Kara’s neck.

“No. You smell like you. I love it. Shit. Okay, get out of my bed or I will never let you go.”

“Keep your eyes closed.”

“Okay, Kara.”

Lena closed her eyes and Kara moved away from the bed. She grabbed the letter and placed it in Lena’s hands and kissed her passionately. Lena reached out, but Kara pulled away. She knew she had to go.

Lena heard the door slam and opened her eyes. She unfolded the letter that was written on her own letterhead.

_Lena,_

_I could have waited a multitude of lifetimes for something this romantic to happen, and it still would have been worth the wait. Standing there with you in the snow, I knew there must be some higher power controlling our fate, because it was magic. It felt like destiny._

_You’re leaving Metropolis and you’re a total jerk, but I will miss you. I know it seems strange that I could miss someone I just met, but I suppose I will continue to miss you the way I have been. Only now, I know what your lips taste like, I know what your smile looks like, I know what your skin feels like when it is pressed to mine._

_I will call you. I will call and we will talk. I will keep you company when those long Ireland nights start to wear on you. I will call you and we will talk about mundane things. I’ll tell you about the new air purification system I am working on and you will tell me all about your brilliant merger. And in six months, you’ll be in my arms again, hopefully. I don’t want to spend another Christmas Eve without you by my side. You’ve spoiled me._

_You’re stunning, you’re exceptional, you’re brilliant, and you’re going to be in every one of my thoughts._

_Yours,_

_Kara Danvers (aka, you’re Engineer)_

Lena beamed. She pulled the letter close and pressed her lips to the paper. It felt strange kissing her own letterhead but Kara’s words touched her deeply. Lena squealed with delight and dove under the covers, feeling more hopeful than she had ever felt before.

***

The car accident happened on her way back to Alex’s place. The driver of the semi fell asleep behind the wheel, trying desperately to make a last push before Christmas.

When Kara awoke in the hospital two weeks later, everything hurt. Everything hurt but she was alive. Alex and their mother, Eliza flanked Kara’s bedside. When they saw she was awake, they smothered her face with kisses, even though she had cuts and bruises that stung with each graze of their lips.

“What happened? Where am I?” Kara asked feeling dazed and confused.

“You were in a terrible car accident Kar but you’re alive.”

“Why am I in so much pain?”

“You had multiple broken bones and internal bleeding. They have already done three surgeries to repair all of the damage. You’ve been in a drug-induced coma for the last two days. The doctors said you will make a full recovery. It is just going to take some time and a lot of physical therapy.”

Kara suddenly felt dizzy. She laid back on the pillow and her eyes shut again.

***

Lena sat in front of her suitcase, still trying to unpack her life. Depressing music played in the background and a steady rain blanketed the city.

**“Cold Is The Night”, by the Oh Hellos played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/0TgaaBAEf84VqvdTshIdPw?si=LlZondI5QX-KVkyOBawGjA**

Lena normally loved the rain, but the weather only fed into her melancholy. Her cell phone started to vibrate and move around on the floor. She picked up the call.

“Hey Sam”, Lena said with a forced smile.

“Hey babe, how are you settling in?”

“I’ve been here for two weeks and I’m still trying to unpack my suitcase.”

“How’s the apartment?”

“It‘s very nice, but so is my apartment. How are you settling in?”

“Everything is great. Your place is still in one piece. Hey, are you okay? You sound crappier than I expected, and I set my expectations pretty low.”

“She still hasn’t called Sam.”

“Maybe something happened.”

“I get the airport thing. Maybe that was too big of a commitment, but I really believed she would call. We waited so long to see each other and we had such an amazing night.”

“Well, if she got cold feet, she’s a chicken shit. Did you try calling her?”

“No. I sent her a text Christmas night thanking her for giving me a wonderful Christmas Eve. She never responded and she hasn’t called.”

“Well shit babe. I’m sorry. I know you liked her.”

“I really thought it was meant to be, Sam. I thought we were meant to be. I guess I was wrong.

***

“Shit!”

“Okay Kar. You need to stay calm. You’re going to bust like a thousand stitches.”

“I think they use staples now”, Eliza said, completely aloof.

“Not helpful mom”, Alex said trying to keep Kara calm.

“How can I stay calm, Alex? It’s been two weeks? I told her I would take her to the airport. I told her I would call.”

“There’s nothing to freak out about. Call her.”

“Shit! Where are my clothes? Where is the business card she wrote her info on?”

“Business card?”, Alex asked confused.

“She gave me a business card with all of her info written down on it. What happened to it?”

“I have no clue. The accident was so bad, your clothes were destroyed.” Alex looked down at the ground knowing her sister would not take the news well.

“Shit! Alex, she probably thinks I ghosted her. Fuck. Okay, we need to find her. Do you have my phone or your phone?”

“Your phone was destroyed in the accident, but here is my phone.” Alex handed her phone to Kara.

The screen was black and Kara saw her own reflection for the first time. Her face was scratched and bruised. Her nose was broken and both of her eyes were black. Kara shuttered at her pwn appearance.

“You know what. Never mind.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look at me, Alex. I’m a fucking mess. I looked like I was put through a wood chipper. I am going to be doing physical therapy for a year and I can’t do anything on my own. Do I really want to bring her into my life when I’m like this?”

“Don’t you think she deserves to know? Don’t you think she deserves to be given the choice. It seems to me, this is a good way for you to determine if she really cares about you or if you were just a fleeting moment in her life.”

“She’s kind. Too kind. If I tell her what happened, she will come back here and I can’t do that to her.”

“You just met her. Do you really think she would abandon a job abroad to be by your side?”

“That’s the weird thing, I have no doubt in my mind that she would be here for me, but what kind of life would that be for her? No. She is probably out there somewhere hating me, but that is probably more merciful than bringing her into this shit show..”

“I think you’re being an idiot.”

“Fine. I’ll accept that. I’m an idiot in love, but I want her to have a better life than this.”

“You realize your selflessness will be your downfall right, Kar?”

“I know what this means for me. No matter how much I care for her, I will not have her uproot her life and stand around feeling sorry for me. I’ll get strong and hope that in a few months, when she returns, I can stand up tall, get down on my knees and beg her forgiveness.”


	7. Nevertheless, She Persisted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara heals, finds the strength to face Lena, and makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shout out to my favorite episode title ever.

“Last day of physical therapy. Are you excited?” Alex asked cheerfully.

“I still walk like a rusted robot and the pain keeps me awake at night, but yeah, I’m happy.”

“You’ve done an amazing job. I know there is still work to be done, but I am so proud of you.”

“Thanks Alex. I just wish I had made more progress by now.”

“You’re doing great. You’re up and moving and you’re not nearly as cranky as you have been. I know this has been harder than any of us expected. When they said you might suffer partial paralysis, I was so scared.”

“That’s what got me off my ass and moving no matter how bad the pain was. I wasn’t about to lose everything because of that stupid accident.”

“Are you going to call her?”

“I need to see her in person. Maybe she won’t hate me as much if she can see how sorry I am. I need her to look into my eyes.”

“What will you do if she won’t give you another chance?”

“I can’t even consider that option. It’s far too depressing to contemplate. No, I’m going to her place. It’s been almost seven months and she should be home. I’m going to look her in the eyes and confess everything.”

“What you did was idiotic, but it was romantic. I know you wanted to save her the pain of watching you suffer.”

“I just hope she sees it that way and can forgive me.”

“Me too Kar.”

“I also wish I didn’t have this limp. What if she takes one look at me and just sees someone who is broken? What if she just sees the damage?”

“If she loves you, she will see you. If she loves you, she will see the woman who has used her face as a beacon of hope. She will see the woman who was told by the doctors that the damage was worse than expected and instead of falling apart you came back strong. She will hold you and never let you go if she has a brain in her head.”

“Every time I wanted to give up, every time I felt like I couldn’t go on, I would close my eyes and see her beautiful face and I knew I could persevere. Finding Lena and telling her everything that happened, telling her that she is all I want from life, has been my reason for getting out of bed every morning. I needed to get strong enough to show her I am not a a charity case. I’ll be damned if I will use the cane when I see her. It is all about getting strong enough to stand on my own two feet.”

“Start with that. That’s good. She’ll like that.”

“I miss her, Alex.”

“I know, Kar. Go find her and tell her everything.”

***

“You know she wants to marry you, right?” Sam asked Lena through the telephone.

“I know. Lana is great.”

“She is. She’s rich and sweet, and oh my God, can we talk about that face. She’s stunning. She adores you babe.”

“Do you want to marry her, Sam?”

“Ha! Hey why do you sound sad? Talk to me.”

“It’s nothing. I’m fine. Lana is amazing. She checks all of the boxes and more, I just don’t feel the passion I felt with...you know what, never mind.”

“Not this again? That woman is a demon. She came in, made you love her, slept with you and then never talked to you again. She is horrible and if I ever get the opportunity to tell her off I will.”

“Please don’t. I know I brought it up, but I am finally starting to feel like I’m healing.”

“Okay babe. Just remember that you are a badass bitch who doesn’t need anybody. You are tough and you can be anything you want to be.”

“I love you Sammy.”

“I love you too.”

“How’s your love life?”

“Ugh. It’s okay. I go to this coffee shop every morning and there is this gorgeous broody cop there at the same time. I just want to lick her lips.”

“Wow. Okay. Don’t do that. She might shoot you.”

“Or marry me. She is so hot. Short hair, tough exterior and she is always wearing something black.”

“Get her number. Ask her out.”

“Oh my GOD no. She is always there with her partner. He’s this equally stoic guy that always looks at me funny when I’m staring at her. I sense he disapproves.”

“Oh please. You’re never scared off by men. Write down your number on a cup of coffee, hand it to her and leave. I’m telling you. That is a solid plan.”

“Fine but if she shoots me, it’s your fault.”

“I love you Sammy.“

“Love you too. Stop thinking about her.”

“I will.”

“Bullshit.”

“Get off the phone.”

“Okay, but still bullshit.”

“Go grow a pair and ask the hot cop out.”

“Will do.”

“Bullshit.”

“Oh now we’re turning it on me are we. You’re evil Ms. Luthor. Pure evil and I love you.”

“Love you back. Sleep well dork.”

“You’re a lawyer and the best you can do is ‘dork’?

“You’re an orthopedic surgeon and the best you can do is ‘bullshit’.”

“Touché. Love you babe.”

“Love you too.”

Sam ended the call and set the phone down. She walked over to the pristine white couch and curled up for a nap. Her reverie was disturbed almost immediately by a knock at the door. She got up begrudgingly and made her way to the door.

“Who is it?”

“Kara”, Sam heard from the other side of the door.

“Who?”

Sam unlocked the door and swung it open. Standing before her was an exceptionally beautiful blonde with the bluest eyes she had ever seen, Sam knew exactly who she was.

“Um...hi. I’m Kara. Is Lena here?”, Kara asked.

“No. She is still in Ireland”, Sam said cooly. “I’m her best friend, Sam. I’m housesitting for her while she is gone.”

“She mentioned you. It’s nice to meet you”, Kara said awkwardly. “I thought she was only going to be gone for six months. I lost her number. Is there any way you could give me her information. I would love to call her.”

Sam’s brow furrowed.

“Not that it’s any of your business but after you broke her heart, she went to Ireland and met her girlfriend Lana Lane. She is gorgeous. Like super model gorgeous and she’s rich. They are engaged and Lena is finally happy. Please don’t come around here trying to stir up old ghosts. She is good.”

Kara’s head dropped. She could understood why Sam wouldn’t like her and even though Sam seemed cold and cruel, Kara could see her in her eyes that she wasn’t a terrible person. She just clearly loved Lena and was trying to protect her.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I should go. I’m sorry to have troubled you. If you can, please just let her know I stopped by and I’m...I’m sorry.”

“If I talk to her I may mention it, but she is super busy and super happy.”

“I understand.”

Kara felt a shooting pain travel down her leg. She turned around and started walking down the hall. Sam watched her walk away and looked perplexed.

“Hey, Kara!”

Kara turned around, desperately wishing she had her cane.

“Lena never mentioned you had a limp. That’s a new injury isn’t it?”

“Relatively.”

“Car accident?” Sam asked.

“How did you know?”

“I’m an orthopedic surgeon. I can see the hitch in your gait and your hip is...holy shit. Wait. When did you get into your car accident?”

“About seven months ago.”

“Wait. Seven months? Is this why you never called?”

Tears started to fall down Kara’s cheeks. She couldn’t speak. She just nodded.

“Please come back. Come in here. You need to sit down.”

“I don’t want to bother you. Really.”

“No, please. I am so so sorry. Please come back.”

Kara walked back to the apartment and they sat down on the couch, side by side.

Sam stared at Kara in utter disbelief.

“So, you were in an accident...”, Sam started.

“On Christmas Day”, Lena finished. “I was leaving here and heading back to my sister’s house when a semi slammed into me. I was unconscious for two weeks while they did surgeries and tried to put me back together. As you can see, I’m not one hundred percent but I’ve been trying.”

“Why didn’t you call when you woke up?”

“My doctors initially thought I was okay and then there were some complications. They were talking paralysis. I couldn’t put Lena through something like that. We have intense feelings for each other but she barely knew me. I knew if I called her, she would be sweet.”

“She would have flown back in an instant”, Sam said with a sad smile.

“I have worked as hard as I could during the last seven months to get the strength to come here and face her. I wanted to look her in the eyes and tell her why I couldn’t take her to the airport that day and why I hadn’t called.”

“She would have understood. She has always thought you ghosted her. All she saw was that you two cared for each other, slept together and you never called. Call her now. I just got off the phone with her. I’ll back you up. I can see the pain in your eyes both from the injury and from losing her.”

“My sister says I’m an idiot but I cared for Lena way too much to be a charity case. I was so broken and I wanted her to remember me in a positive light. Even now, I’m relieved she didn’t see me this way.”

“You’re gorgeous. What are you talking about?”

“I’m handicapped. This might be my new norm.”

“You should be using a cane.”

“I do normally but I wanted to stand tall when I faced her.”

“Oh my GOD. Call her right now. Here...it’s programmed into my phone.”

Sam handed her phone to Kara but she paused.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked.

“What you said earlier, about her being happy and engaged.”

“Ignore that. Listen, Lena loves you so much. Just call her.”

“She’s with someone else.”

“She is but she loves you Kara.”

“I have no right to do this to her. If she is happy and moving on, it feels cruel to do this. I’m going to go and you just forget we had this discussion.”

“No way. I have to tell her everything. This is so An Affair to Remember.”

“I can’t give her the life she deserves right now, Sam. Tomorrow is my first day back at work in months. She needs someone vibrant and full of energy. She needs someone who can run to her arms and not limp there. She needs someone brave and I wasn’t brave when I didn’t call. I was scared and I hate myself for that.”

“You are what she wants.”

“Please Sam. Please promise me you won’t tell her about the accident or my injuries. I can’t stand the idea of her feeling sorry for me. I would rather she hate me than feel sorry for me.”

“She could never hate you.”

“I’m pretty sure she could. I did not feel like a good person when I walked away from her and I still feel like a jerk. Please Sam. Please promise me you won’t say anything. She is happy. That is all that matters.”

“Okay. I won’t tell her about the accident. I promise.”

“Thank you”, Kara said placing a hand on Sam’s. “I know you don’t know me, but this means a lot. You have every right to hate me.”

“Listen, I hated that you hurt Lena, but now I feel like a jerk knowing what you went through.”

“You’re not a jerk. I am so glad Lena has someone who loves her enough to hate me.”

Sam and Kara exploded into ill-timed silly laughter.

“This is sick. We shouldn’t be laughing at this”, Sam said rubbing Kara’s shoulder.

“What you did was stupid. She would have been by your side and you two would probably be married now.”

“Ouch. Thanks.” Kara buried her face in her hands.

“But it was thoughtful and romantic. I understand why you did what you did. I respect you for doing it.”

“Thank you.”

“I won’t tell her about the accident, but I have to tell her you came by. She has cameras outside. She will know.”

“Gotcha.”

“Just tell her I stopped by to say I’m sorry and you threw me out like the cad I am.”

“Sure. Did you really just call yourself a ‘cad’?” Sam laughed even harder.

“Sam, is she really happy?”

“She is as happy as can be expected.”

“Is her new...is she good to her?”

“She is. Lana is wonderful.”

“Good. I’m glad. She deserves all of the happiness in the world.”

“Oh my God Kara. You are the worst.”

Kara was taken aback. Her face dropped and she looked wounded.

“Huh?”

“You’re so sweet and romantic. She deserves you.”

“If it’s meant to be, it will happen.”

“Ugh. You two and your destiny”, Sam said throwing her hands into the air in frustration.

“Here is how I see it. You two are destined to be together. Just don’t be stupid.”

“I will try.”

“Babe, you’re already failing.”

***

The moment Kara stepped foot outside, Sam called Lena. She had to dial a few times and finally Lena picked up the call.

“Hey, Lena said a little groggy. What’s up. I just dozed off on the couch.”

“You’ll never guess who just came to your apartment.”

“Who?”

“Kara.”

“What?”, Lena said loudly.

Sam could tell Lena immediately perked up.

“She came by to apologize for not calling.”

“After all of this time?”

“Call her Lena.”

“No. Why on earth would I call her? There is no earthly reason why I would call her or trust her.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course Sammy.”

“Call her.”

“Why? You were just on the phone with me telling me how Lana is the one and fuck Kara.”

“I was wrong. Call her please.”

“What did she say to you? Did she explain herself?”

“She did. Well, I figured it out.”

“Tell me.”

“Sorry, she swore me to secrecy.”

“Are you fucking kidding? Are you pulling my leg? You’re my best friend. Tell me.”

“Sorry babe. You have to trust me. Call her. She’s a good person. I can see why you like her so much.”

“Okay. I’ll think about it. What about Lana?”

“Just call her as a friend. Just give her a chance.”

“Okay. Thanks Sammy.”

“I love you and I just want to see you happy Lena.”

“I know. I love you too.”

“Do you still have her info?”

“I have carried that business card in my wallet since Christmas.”

“Okay then. Use it. You won’t regret it.”


	8. Before You Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam finds the courage to approach her broody cop and Lena makes the call.

Alex and J’onn weaved expertly between the coffee house tables and found a seat next to the window. The place was always packed full of working stiffs looking for their early morning courage, and hopeful out of work writers and actors hoping to catch their big break.

“Why do we come here?”, Alex asked as she counted the number of man-buns floating around. She gritted her teeth and fought the urge to taze the hipsters one by one.

“It’s the closest coffee place to the station. That’s pretty much it.” J’onn surveyed Alex for a moment and then gave her a sad smile. “How are you doing? You seem a little more tense than usual this morning. How’s Kara?”

Alex rubbed the back of her neck and let out a troubled sigh.

“She’s getting better day by day but it has been slow going. She’s in a lot of pain and she beats herself up for not making better progress.”

J’onn placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder and leveled his deep brown eyes to Alex’s.

“Remember to be patient and kind. I know she has been snapping a lot. Has her temper cooled?”

“She’s eerily quiet now, but her pain is written on her face. Most of the time I think she feels the pain of her loss more than the pain from her injuries.”

“Loss?”

“That woman from the elevator. She thought she might have a chance to win her back, but she was finally dealt the death blow.”

“Your sister is a fighter. She will get through this. She will come back physically and she will love again. Death blow?”

“I sure hope so. She really liked this woman. I liked her too, from what I saw. I still remember that Christmas Eve in the snow. I thought for sure that the two of them would be married by now. Hard to imagine snow with this heat. I feel like I can’t breathe.”

“True. Metropolis summers are the worst.” J’onn grabbed a napkin from the table and wiped the sweat from his brow.

Alex looked over at the line and made eye contact with the woman she had noticed every day for weeks.

The two women had been dancing the same flirtatious tango for almost a month. They made eye contact, smiled, blushed, and never spoke a word to each other.

“When are you going to do something about that?” J’onn asked with a big grin.

“Huh?” Alex asked distracted.

“That beautiful woman you stare at every day. The two of you stare into each other’s eyes, but it never goes any further. Go over there and talk to her.”

“That poor woman is just trying to get a cup of coffee. Just because we smile at each other doesn’t mean she wants me sidling up to her like we’re at a nightclub.”

“You say that, but she is headed this way. I’ll give you some privacy”, J’onn said moving out of his seat. His grin wide and his eyes bright.

“Don’t you dare leave me alone.”

The woman approached holding two coffees. Her long brown hair looked soft and silky. Alex couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to get lost in her hair as they shared the same pillow. Her brown eyes sparkled in the light and her smile was so infectious, Alex’s face hurt from grinning after only a few seconds.

“Hi. I’m so sorry to interrupt”, the woman said. Alex looked up at her and she found she could barely breathe.

J’onn smiled and cleared his throat. Alex was speechless.

“It’s no interruption at all. Please, would you like to take a seat?”

J’onn motioned for for the beautiful brunette to take a seat across from Alex.

“How can we help you?” J’onn asked giving Alex a sideways glance.

The woman looked deep into Alex’s eyes. 

“Hi, my name is Sam. I see you every morning and your beauty takes my breath away. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but I’m trying this new thing where I say what I feel. I made a promise to my best friend to start living and I would really like to start by buying you a drink or dinner sometime. I know you are probably very busy and you are under absolutely no obligation to respond. I’m going to go outside and take a seat at that table over there. If you would like to continue this conversation, I will stay there for a few more minutes. If not, please continue about your day and I apologize for the interruption. If the only thing I accomplished was telling you how stunning you are, I feel like it was worth my time to try.”

She pushed the coffees towards her companions and smiled warmly. She gave them both a nod and disappeared as quickly as she arrived.

The moment she was out of earshot, J’onn exploded into laughter. Alex blushed and gave him a playful punch to the shoulder.

“What are you waiting for? Anyone that honest deserves a quick reply”, J’onn said pushing her out of her seat.

Alex stood up quickly and beamed.

“Wish me luck.”

“From what it sounds like, I doubt you will need much luck.”

***

Kara stared at her computer screen but her mind was a million miles away. It was her first official day back in the office, but she had been working from home for the last few months. Her seniority afforded her the ability to work from home when she liked, but she knew it was time to return to her team. They had been robbed of her guidance for way too long.

All of the lights on the floor were dimmed and a steady rain blanketed the whole of Metropolis. Music played softly in the background.

Kara’s leg throbbed. She had become adept at hiding her pain from others, but when she was alone, she felt the full weight of her throbbing leg and her regret without distraction or relief.

**“Yamaha”, by Delta Spirit played low in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/6i4T7CZeZKaBPor8EMCv8P?si=P7KSzKC1TQGrgivqDZOEJg**

She was startled out of her daze by the ringing of her telephone. She looked over at the clock. It read 11:30 pm. She didn’t dare hope it would be Lena, but her heart leapt just the same.

She hit the speaker phone button.

“Kara Danvers”, she said, expecting a wrong number.

“Kara?”

Kara’s heart fell into her stomach. She knew that voice.

“Lena?”

“Hi. I wasn’t sure I would reach you. I see you’re still working late hours.”

Kara’s chest tightened and all of the breath left her body. Kara sat forward and shook her head in disbelief.

“Lena?”

“Hi.”

“Are you calling from Ireland?”

“I am. It’s the morning here.”

“So, you are working at a normal time?”, Kara asked trying to sound casual.

“Oh, I work late too. I work insane hours and no one else here does. They all want me to go out and have dinner or drinks and I’m like, there is work to be done.”

Kara laughed just a little and she was finally able to breathe.

“I get that. It drives me crazy when my sister tells me I work too hard.”

“Alex, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So, I heard you met Sam. She’s like a sister to me.”

“I liked her a lot. She is very protective over you. You deserve friends who love and protect you.”

“Sorry if she was obnoxious.”

“Quite the contrary. She was lovely.”

“She told me to call you. She told me to forgive you for not calling.”

“Did she tell you why I didn’t call?”

“No. She refused. I’m her best friend in the world, but she said that you had sworn her to secrecy so she had to respect that.”

“All I can say is I am truly sorry Lena.”

“Sam says you had a good reason, so I will give you the benefit of the doubt. I wish you would tell me.”

“I can’t.”

“You can. You just prefer not to.”

“Please, I can hear in your voice how angry you are.”

“I’m not angry. I just...never mind.”

“I’m sorry if I hurt you Lena.”

“Hurt? Nah. I just waited for you to call, waited for something. I shared the greatest night of my life with you and then you ghosted me. You slept with me and then didn’t talk to me again, but why on earth would I be hurt? I took a car to the airport and waited for some kind of explanation but it never came. You know what Kara, if you’re not going to give me a good reason for why you just disappeared, I don’t know if I can ever forgive you. Tell me.”

“I can’t Lena. Not now. Maybe someday.”

“That’s a bullshit answer and you know it.”

“You have a fiancé. This all seems pretty moot at this point”, Kara said feeling defensive.

“I do. She’s amazing, but that is beside the point. You hurt me Kara.”

“I’m sorry Lena. I am truly sorry. All I can tell you is that I didn’t have any say in the matter. The choice was taken from me, otherwise I would have called.”

“Why does your voice have to soothe me so much? I want to be angry at you, but I missed talking to you so much.”

“I missed talking to you. More than you could possible comprehend, Lena.”

Kara got up from her chair and stretched out her leg. She winced and she must have whimpered without realizing it.

“Kara, are you okay?”

“Yep. Right as rain. Just a little stiff getting up.”

“Are you sure?”

Kara held her breath for a moment. She wondered if she should tell Lena everything. She ran through the scenarios, but they were all the same. Lena had a girlfriend and that was that.

“Definitely, but thank you for your concern”, Kara said softly.

Lena was quiet for a moment. Kara could hear her breathing, but she didn’t speak.

“Lena, are you okay?”

“Yeah. I guess I just expected to be able to stay upset longer, but I hear your voice and I just want to know what you’re doing.”

“I just got back to the office, so I’m mostly just playing catchup.”

“Were you on vacation?”

“Something like that. A break. We are working on a new addition to the train station. It’s quite complicated and I am trying to look through blueprints right now. What are you working on?”

“Oh God, I don’t want to bore you to sleep. I’ve been here for seven months working on the same merger. It is so tedious. I’m considering a career change. Maybe I can get a job at a clothing store folding t-shirts or maybe a circus clown.”

Kara and Lena both laughed out loud.

“I can just see that. You in your Versace with a red clown nose and makeup. Hot.”

“Oh shut up. You know I could totally pull it off.”

“You totally could”, Kara said still laughing.

“It feels strange to laugh out loud like this. It has been a very long time”, Lena said sadly.

“You don’t laugh with Lana?”

“You know her name?”

“Sam casually mentioned that you were madly in love and engaged. Well, she aggressively let me know the minute I walked in the door. Like I said, I like her.”

“She likes you too. Generally, she doesn’t trust easily, so it means a lot that she told me to call you. What did you say to her?”

“I just explained what happened.”

“Please tell me. I think I deserve to know, Kara.”

“I will. I will tell you everything, just not tonight. Please. I know this sounds crazy, but can we just talk about you?Tell me about your day. Tell me about your office or what you’re doing.”

Kara could hear Lena take another deep breath.

“Okay. So, my day started about three hours ago. I woke up, showered, dressed and ate breakfast. In Ireland you can either eat a slice of bread and drink a cup of tea or you can eat what I call the ‘gut-buster breakfast’. It’s eggs and sausage and all kinds of sloppiness on a plate.”

“Did you have the slice of toast and tea?”

“Nope”, Lena said with a little chuckle.

Kara smiled. She loved the sound of Lena’s laugh. It lit her up from the inside. Her voice, her laugh, and the taste of her lips, were what sustained Kara on her most difficult days.

“I’m starving. I need to learn to enjoy food more. I mean, I enjoy food but I need to eat more. I feel like I’m constantly starving. I never bring enough food to eat”, Kara said with a little smile.

“I’ve been known to skip a meal or two when I’m busy working. Maybe I should send you a gut-buster breakfast.”

“Yes please”, Kara said with a desperation in her voice that bordered on on sexual.

“Self-care is never the strong suit of the overworked.”

“It’s a sad state of affairs that I haven’t met anyone who works the hours we do since we last spoke. I guess working insane hours has gone out of fashion.”

Lena got quiet again and Kara worried. She walked over to the window and stared out into the rainy night.

“Why did you wait seven months to get in contact with me?”

“I had my reasons, Lena. I swear to you, I didn’t have a choice.”

“Were you arrested?”

Kara laughed out loud. She sat back down in her chair and took a sip from her stale cold coffee.

“No, but I love that.”

“I should go.”

“Please don’t. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not going because of anything you’ve said or not said. I just have a meeting. Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Sure. I’ll be here. Is this okay with you being engaged?”

“I am seeing Lana but we are not engaged. I think Sam was just trying to make me seem happier than I really am.”

“You’re unhappy?”

“I shouldn’t have said that. Forget what I said. I really should get to this meeting. Have a good evening Kara and thank you for the conversation.”

“Thank you for calling, Lena. I really appreciate you reaching out. Have a good day.”

“Good night.”

Kara was about to hang up the phone when she heard Lena say her name again.

“Kara.”

“Yeah. Is everything okay?”

“I missed your voice.”

“I missed yours too.”

“I know you can’t tell me why you didn’t call, but can you tell me that it wasn’t something I said or did?”

“Lena, it was one-hundred percent nothing you did or said. You were perfect. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I am so sorry I ruined it.”

“I don’t want you falling asleep with sadness in your heart”, Lena whispered softly.

“I don’t deserve you making me feel better.”

“Before you fall asleep tonight, think of our night together. Think of that moment right before we allowed ourselves to fall asleep. That sweet moment when we held on so tight, and our breathing became lighter and more natural. Think of that moment when you kissed my lips and smiled before you succumbed to your slumber. Think of that and sleep peacefully.”

Tears fell down Kara’s cheeks. She had to fight with all of her might not to weep uncontrollably. She stifled her sobs, but her heart ached to tell Lena everything.

“Thank you”, she just barely managed as she choked back her pain.

“No matter what, I will always want to make your heart feel better. Even if I don’t always understand you. Sleep well.”

The call ended and Kara sat back in her chair. She leaned her head back and tried to breathe. Lena’s words echoed in her mind.

Kara rubbed the tears out if her eyes.

“She has every right to hate me, but instead she is still trying to make me smile. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why did I wait so long? Now she’s with Lana. Fuck. Lana and Lena. Are they kidding? Fuck. You sound bitter Kara. You sound bitter when all of this is your fault. Lena deserves to be happy. She deserves to feel safe. She deserves better than my crippled body and my crippled mind.”

Kara stood up from her chair and limped to the window. She looked out at the Metropolis night and did as Lena asked. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She remembered the feeling of Lena’s lips pressed to her neck. She remembered the warmth she felt spread through her as they stared deep into each other’s eyes before they succumbed to their exhaustion and slept.

She smiled a little through her tears. Lena was right. All she had to do was think about that moment and she could remember the joy she felt. Her heart was heavy with longing, but she would sleep well knowing Lena still cared about her and wanted to make her smile.

**“I’m On Fire”, by The Staves**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/14WxdK01IyDl3bumvqufxH?si=-K49guxqR_moXi0gdDEIIg**


	9. Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four months have passed and it is almost Thanksgiving. Alex and Sam are madly in love, but they worry about Kara and Lena who seem to be in a perpetual limbo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delayed update. I needed to rest my brain for a few days. When you’re reading this chapter, just remember, where there is dark there is light. There is a repeated song on the playlist in this chapter but there is a reason for it. Thanks as always for reading.

“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll grab us some wine”, Alex said with a sweet smile. A fire blazed in the fireplace and a steady rain blanketed the city. It had been four months since they started dating and four months since Kara and Lena started talking again.

Sam took a seat on the couch and shivered a little. Alex noticed Sam shaking and immediately grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch. She laid it over Sam’s lap gently and smiled. The normally broody cop leaned in and kissed Sam tenderly on the lips. Sam took Alex’s hand as she was about to pull away and gave her girlfriend a sweet grin.

“The wine can wait. Come here and keep me warm”, Sam said pulling Alex in closer.

Alex beamed. She took a seat next to Sam on the couch and sidled up close to keep her warm. Sam picked up the blanket and laid it over their laps as she pressed her lips softly to Alex’s neck and smiled. Alex wrapped an arm around Sam and pulled her in closer. She moved her lips over Sam’s softly and then kissed her passionately. She pressed her tongue to Sam’s. She tasted like pure joy and Alex never wanted to stop kissing her.

Sam moved on top of Alex and straddled her. She wrapped her arms around Alex’s neck and pulled her closer. Alex winced a little and Sam pulled back.

“Oh my God. Are you okay babe? Did I hurt you?”

Alex gave Sam a kiss on the nose and caressed her cheek.

“I’m okay. Just a little stressed and it is making me sleep funny. I guess my neck is a little stiff.”

Sam moved off of Alex’s lap and sat next to her on the couch.

“Are you worried about Kara?”

“Yeah. She says she is okay, but I can tell she isn’t.”

“I still can’t believe Kara is your sister.”

“I can’t believe Lena is your best friend. This all feels surreal. It’s doubly surreal because I am so happy and Kara is so miserable.”

“You know those two are meant to be together. They are just too stupid to see it.”

“What does Lena say about the whole situation?”

“She said she feels better and worse talking to Kara. She loves knowing about her life and talking to her, but she feels like she has to hold back with her because she is with Lana. She loves Kara but she is still angry at her for not calling. It’s really hard for her to understand why Kara can’t tell her what happened last Christmas.”

“Kara says she likes talking to Lena but I see this profound sadness behind her eyes after she talks to her. She loves her so much but I think her heart breaks a little every time they speak.”

“It’s almost Thanksgiving. This is crazy. It’s been four months. How has Kara not told her anything? How is she feeling physically.”

“Swear you will not say anything to anyone ever.”

“I swear.”

“She got some bad news. She has had three surgeries. They said the last one wasn’t effective at all, and she needs to be prepared to never fully regain her strength or range of motion. Her doctor said that she should be prepared to be handicapped for the rest of her life.

“Poor Kara. I know she was waiting to be fully healed before she told Lena. What does this all mean for that? Do you think she will just tell her? I think Lena is starting to lose hope and the more she loses hope, the more she leans into this absurd relationship with Lana.”

“Ugh. Lana and Lena. That is so not right.”

“I know babe. It’s dreadful. Listen, Kara needs to get it through her beautiful blonde skull that she needs to tell Lena everything or she will lose her for good.”

“Lena is with someone else. I think it scares Kara to be vulnerable with her and then be rejected. I think my sister has lost all of her self confidence

“These two drive me crazy. I swear, I am going to get Kara over her one day and get her so wasted that she has no choice but to confess everything to Lena.”

“I wish, but Kara is always level headed even when she is being pig headed.”

“Enough talking about the two idiots in love. What do you say I pour the wine, guide you into the bedroom, and massage that kink out of your neck. Maybe while we’re there...”, Sam said trailing off suggestively.

Alex stood up from the couch and beamed. She pulled Sam to her feet and kissed her passionately.

“You don’t have to ask me twice”, Alex said with a sweet grin.

Sam guided Alex to the bedroom and pointed to the bed.

“You go lay down and strip off some of those pesky clothes. I’ll be back with the wine.”

“Yes ma’am”, Alex said with a big smile and a salute.

***

“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” Lena asked as she rolled her gold-plated Mont Blanc between her fingertips.

“Family, overeating, probably working after dinner. You know, the usual. How about you?”

**“Cry To Me”, by Solomon Burke played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/1tYk5zABu6h8CMP1cSea56?si=gj1-sG-cSEW-sHH95NWORw**

“No Thanksgiving here, so it will be just another Thursday. It’s a family holiday and you know what my family is like. Hey, what’s that song? I like it.”

“I don’t know. I just have a weird mix going”, Kara said lying through her teeth.

Kara knew exactly what the song was. She just didn’t want to explain to Lena that when she closed her eyes, all of the songs on the playlist reminded her of Lena. She didn’t want to tell her that every time she heard this song, she imagined dancing with Lena.

“I like it. It seems like it would be nice to dance to”, Lena said.

Kara’s chest tightened. She was taken aback.

_Can she read my mind?_

“Totally”, Kara said trying to act cool.

“Lana hates dancing. She won’t even slow dance. It’s a bummer because I love to dance.”

Kara winced every time she heard Lena casually mention Lana’s name. She knew her current situation was mostly of her own doing, but it cut her deep every time Lena mentioned Lana.

She knew her lack of honesty and transparency were the root cause of her pain, but there was nothing she could do about it now. Lena was with someone else, and no matter how many times they spoke to each other, Kara never got used to hearing Lana’s name.

“I’ll tell you what. Do you have a post-it on your desk?” Kara asked.

“I do.”

“Write this. ‘I owe you one dance when I see you next, Love Kara’”, Kara said sweetly.

Lena laughed out loud.

“Okay.”

Lena grabbed a post-it and followed Kara’s instructions. She took the post-it and placed it on the corner of her monitor.

“All set?”

“Yep. I’ll hold you to your post-it promise some day”, Lena said weakening her cool facade.

Kara wanted desperately to tell Lena how sorry she was that Lana didn’t enjoy dancing. She wanted to tell her that they were clearly not meant to be if Lana wouldn’t dance with the most beautiful woman on the planet. She wanted to be honest, but she knew she couldn’t be. She had to smile and pretend that everything was okay.

Kara had become adept at swallowing her feelings and stifling her words. She became an expert at putting on a happy face during the last four months. Whenever she was tempted to say something sweet or romantic, she would snap a rubber band on her wrist. When she wanted to groan at yet another Lana mention, she clenched her jaw and tried to smile. It was vital that Lena feel comfortable but it was exhausting sometimes.

“I can’t believe Christmas is in a month, Kara said trying to move on.

“I know, right? It’s been a long year.”

“That it has. A very long year.”

“It’s hard to believe that it’s been less than a year since we stood in the snow”, Lena said uncharacteristically warm and reflective.

Kara didn’t know what to say. She wanted to tell Lena that every moment since she left her arms had felt cold and sad and all she wanted to do was run to Lena’s side.

“Yep”.

“Kara, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

**“Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright”, by WILDES played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/5ggbvhPwOML48szid8lE5y?si=7lS2Xs2PSPeujFFhm3Y-Sg**

“This thing. This thing preventing you from telling me from what happened. Has anything changed?”

“No”, Kara said sadly and without any hesitation.

Lena went silent for a moment. Kara could hear her breathing into the phone.

“I was hoping you had changed your mind.”

“I can’t Lena. Not now. You know when I’m ready I’ll tell you.”

“Kara, please tell me.”

“I can’t”, Kara said starting to tear up. She had to clench her jaw to prevent herself from sobbing.

She looked over at the cane sitting next to her desk and rubbed her hip where it constantly throbbed and ached.

“I don’t know if I can keep doing this. I wish you trusted me.”

“Lena, I trust you completely. That’s not the problem.”

“It doesn’t feel like it. It feels like you have this huge thing weighing on you and instead of telling me, you’re just pushing it down and I don’t know why.”

“Lena, you’re with someone else. You moved on. The whole thing is moot.”

“Don’t you get it Kara? My whole point is that you and I...never mind.”

“What?”

“Nothing. I love Lana.”

Kara took in a deep breath and tried to calm herself down.

“Kara? Are you there?”

“When you say her name...it kills me”, Kara said letting go a little. Tears flowed down her cheeks and her breath was labored and shallow.

“I had no idea Kara. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“I guess I mention her name to remind myself to keep some distance from you. I’m sorry. I never meant to cause you pain.”

“I caused you pain. I deserve pain.”

“No you don’t Kara. I would never want you to hurt. Since the moment we met over the phone, I have wanted you to be happy. I’ve wanted to protect you.”

“I just feel like neither of us are saying what’s on our minds. We have been talking for four months and I feel like we have just been in a holding pattern.”

“I agree. Listen, I think I need some time to think. I’m going to go.”

“Please don’t go, Lena.”

“I just need some time, Kara. I think my heart just hurts too bad to keep doing this. If you decide you want to tell me what happened, you know where to find me.”

“Lena...”

“I care about you Kara. I care about you, but we can’t keep doing this.”

“I understand, I guess. I’ll let you go. Goodbye Lena.”

“Kara, I...never mind. Goodbye.”

Kara ended the call before Lena could hang up on her.

She sat there sobbing uncontrollably.

“What the hell have I done? What was I thinking.”

Kara picked up the phone and called Lena back.

The phone rang a few times and Lena finally picked up.

“Hello?”

“Lena, I love you. I’m in love with you and I have been for as long as I can remember. I love everything about you and my love has only increased. I’m sorry I said what I said about Lana. I am sure she is a very nice person if you love her. I am just so jealous I can barely breathe. I know this isn’t helpful. I know this just makes things more complicated, but I am tired of holding my tongue when all I have wanted to tell you is that I love you. I love your eyes, your smile, the taste of your lips. I love your laugh and your heart. I love you and I’m done fighting it. I just want you and I will give you everything I am.”

“Kara, I’m with Lana, but you know in your heart that I love you. I have loved you since that first night in the elevator.

Lena stopped talking and took a deep breath. The silence was deafening.

“Lena...please listen.”

“Kara, I’ve spent four months listening and I am no closer to the truth than I was before. Call me when you’re ready to tell me. Otherwise, I am going to need some time.”

“Okay”, Kara said. She sobbed uncontrollably “

Kara waited to hear Lana say something but all she heard was the sound of her shallow breath.

“Goodbye Kara.”

The call disconnected and Kara collapsed onto her desk weeping violently.

***

Lena sat at her desk and buried her face in her hands. Tears flowed down her cheeks

Lena grabbed the post-it and held it between her fingers. She tried hard to stop crying and catch her breath, but she was broken.

She looked at the picture of her and Lana that sat on her desk and shook her head. She grabbed the picture and laid it down face down on her desk.

Lena stood up and walked over to her window. She stared out at the rainy day and her heart ached.

“Why Kara? Why? I just can’t do this anymore.”

***

Alex and Sam invited Kara over for dinner the following evening. Kara called Alex the minute Lena hung up the phone and they spoke for hours. Kara fell asleep weeping. The moment she walked into Alex’s apartment, she broke down into tears.

She cried through the wine, she cried through the appetizers, and she cried through dinner. After dinner, the three of them sat on the couch and talked. Sam and Alex sat on either side of Lena and held onto her tight. They sat close and tried to console Kara, who was still reeling from everything that happened the day before.

“Go ahead. Tell me I’m an idiot”, Kara said.

“You’re an idiot, Kara”, Alex said matter of fact. She loved her sister but she was at the end of her rope.

“Ouch babe”, Sam said taking Kara’s hand. “Why aren’t you telling her sweetie? What is holding you back?”

“Look at me. I could be like this for the rest of my life. Lena is young and vibrant. She loves adventure and dancing and I can barely stand up. She deserves more than this. My heart is aching, but my brain is telling me that I need to let her go. I can barely stand or walk for a few minutes. Whoever commits to me will have a hard life and I love Lena way too much to have her settle. Lana can give her everything she needs.”

“No offense Kar, but your brain is an asshole. You love her, she loves you. That is all that matters” Alex said grabbing onto Kara’s arm. “I’m sorry for the tough love but it’s true.”

“I’m going to tell Lena for you Kara. It’s the only way”, Sam said with determination in her eyes.

“No Sam. Please don’t.”

“I’m going to. You are being an idiot. If Lena has a problem with your condition then she isn’t the person I know and love. You are underestimating her.”

“Sam, I love you for wanting to help, but please don’t. I know she would be kind. I know she would love me, but she would be committing to damaged goods.”

“Kara is right baby. Lena needs to hear it from Kara. We can’t get involved.”

“I just hate this. You two are perfect for each other. You’re both gorgeous nerds who work too much and love with your whole hearts.”

“I know neither of you can understand this, but I want Lena to have the very best. I just wish that was me, but it’s not. I need to move on and let her be happy.”

“I don’t know if she’s happy Kara. When she called me this morning, she was crying too. I just need both of you to stop being so damn pigheaded”, Sam said holding onto Kara’s arm.

Their conversation was interrupted by the buzzing of Sam’s phone as it vibrated on the coffee table. Sam leaned forward and grabbed her phone. The called ID said “Lena Calling.”

“Sorry guys. I should take this. She never calls this early.”

Sam hit the call button and the call connected.

“Hey babe. How are you? Everything okay?”

Kara and Alex couldn’t hear what Lena was saying but they saw Sam’s face drop.

“Holy shit Lena. What did you say? Wow. Okay. Yeah of course. Call me later. I love you too sweetie.”

Sam ended the call and looked over at Alex and Kara.

“What happened baby?”, Alex asked concerned.

“That was Lena.”

“What did she say?”, Alex asked.

“She said Lana proposed.”

”Fuck. What did she say?” Alex looked over at Kara concerned. 

“She said yes.”

Kara’s head dropped and she began to sob and shake. Alex and Sam wrapped their arms around Kara and held onto her. They had no words to console her. They just held her close and let her cry.

**”Bottom of the River”, by Delta Rae**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/2LzyUfJdRp3uqTrITBJXEY?si=ksmkm8WnSy6Xo0rWPZI0Kw**


	10. Running To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex calls in some backup, Kara boards a plane, and Lena finally gets the answer she has been seeking for a year.

Listening to melancholy music was a vice that Kara reserved for when she was alone.

**“Why”, by Annie Lennox played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/2fYYmPNwDaNpw1KRSxpQ5H?si=MvKoEpXbT46Muk8n4s4rWA**

She did her best to hold it together when she was around other people, but she felt like she was always on the verge of weeping. Hopelessness washed over her and all she could do is look back and regret every decision she had made in the last year.

Kara sat on her couch under a blanket and stared into the fireplace. Tears flowed down her cheeks. She didn’t bother listening to the lyrics of the songs she played. She just let the sadness of their voices carry her away. She grabbed her phone and sent Lena a text. She could barely see through her tears. Her vision was blurred and shaky. She had sent her three text messages over the last couple of days, but there was no response.

_Lena, I’m sorry. Please call me._

Kara knew Lena needed space, but she was starting to wonder if Lena had completely given up hope. She tried to respect her request for time but now that Lena was engaged, Kara feared time had run out.

***

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before”, Alex said to Sam. “She is the only person I know that can get through to Kara. Kar has never gone against her advice and she has always valued her opinion. She was Kara’s advisor during undergrad and she quickly became part of the family. I doubt she would ever admit it, but I think Kara loves and respects her more than anyone else in this world. I must have been insane not to think of her from day one. It was hard when she moved to National City, but she has always loved Kara like family.

“Call her.”

“Kar might be mad.”

“Kara is too depressed to be mad. Listen, we don’t have a lot of time. Before we know it, we will be receiving a wedding invitation. We do not want to wait until that happens. Babe, call her.”

Alex grabbed Sam close and kissed her with all of the love and appreciation in her heart. She moved a hand to her cheek and caressed it softly. She stared into Sam’s big brown eyes and soaked in all of the love she could.

“Thank you baby.”

Alex scrolled through her contacts and found her immediately. She hit the call button and the phone began to ring. She hit speaker and held her breath.

Sam looked on as Alex waited nervously for the call to connect.

“Cat Grant”, Cat said into the phone loudly.

Alex lit up.

“Hi Cat, this is Alex Danvers. Do you remember me?”

“Of course I do. You’re Kara’s sister right?”

“Exactly. Listen, I’m so sorry to bother you, but Kara is in a rough situation and I was hoping you might be able to help.”

“Of course. What do you need.”

“Kara is being stubborn.”

“What’s new?”

“She needs to do something to be truly happy, but her silly brain is getting in the way.”

“Okay, I just poured a cup of tea and I have nowhere to be. Tell me everything.”

“About three years ago Kara ended up accidentally meeting the woman of her dreams on Christmas Eve. The woman was stuck in an elevator a few blocks away from Kara’s building. She hit the elevator call button and it dialed Kara’s office line instead of the building management people in her office building. They talked for hours and built an instant connection.”

“Wow. I love that. That is so romantic.”

“Two years later, Kar and I were Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve, when by some crazy magical happenstance, her dream woman was standing outside in the snow. They shared a romantic moment and ended up spending Christmas Eve night together.”

“Good for Kara.”

Alex’s breathing became labored and her body shook. Her eyes welled up with tears thinking about what she would have to say next.

“The next morning, Kara was on her way back to my place when she was involved in a horrific accident.”

“What? Why am I just hearing about this now?”

“I’m so sorry. Kara was oddly private after the accident. Even after she healed, she was withdrawn. Kara was so ashamed of her progress she refused to let us tell anyone. Anyway, when she came to and saw the extent of her injuries, she decided not to call Lena, that’s her dream woman. Lena had been waiting for her to call on Christmas Day and every day after that. Kara was unconscious in the hospital for two weeks, but she could have called Lena the moment she woke up and explained everything that happened. She never called her.”

“Oh Kara”, Cat said disappointed.

“Kara has spent the last year trying to rehab, but she has suffered setback after setback and now the doctors believe the issue she has with her hip and her leg will be permanent. They told her she could be handicapped for the rest of her life.”

“Jesus. My poor Kara.”

“Your poor Kara is being a pigheaded idiot.”

“What? Why?”

“She connected with Lena over the summer and they started talking again. Kara has had every opportunity to explain why she never called, but she doesn’t wam to ruin Lena’s life. She is worried that if she and Lena get together, Lena will have a lesser life because of Kara’s handicap.”

“That can’t possibly be true. What does Lena say about all of this?”

“She doesn’t know.”

“I understand Kara being pigheaded, but why haven’t you stepped in and told her? Why haven’t you intervened?”

“Kara would never forgive me if I told Lena. As for intervening, what do you think I’m doing now? Please Cat, please talk some sense into her. She loves Lena, Lena loves her, but Kara’s stubbornness is pushing Lena into the arms of another woman. She’s engaged and I fear that Kara will never see the light.”

“I’ll fuel up the jet and I can be there tomorrow. I just have to clear my calendar for the next few days.”

“Thanks Cat, I’m really happy you’re coming.”

“Don’t worry Alex. I’ll talk some sense into Kara.”

“God, I hope so.”

***

The next evening, Kara sat in her office. The clock read 11:30 pm. She stared at some blueprints but her mind was on Lena. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes.

“You know Kara, I always told you to work hard but, 11:30? When do you sleep?”

Kara knew exactly who that voice belonged to. Her eyes popped open and she leaned forward in her chair. She lit up but her eyes filled with tears. She stood up and fumbled for her cane but it dropped to the ground. Cat looked sad for just a moment but then she put on a brave smile. Cat quickly moved to Kara’s side and picked up the cane for her. Kara threw her arms around her friend and mentor. She squeezed tight, and suddenly, she began to weep uncontrollably. She took big heaving breaths and just let go.

“Hey sweetie, it’s okay. Everything is okay”, Cat said uncharacteristically soft. Go ahead and sit down. Come on, slow down your breathing.”

Kara pulled back and tried to compose herself.

“Sorry Cat. I just missed you so much and this was totally unexpected.”

“Come on. Take a seat and explain to me why you didn’t tell me about the accident.”

Kara took a few steps back and sat down in her chair.

“I’m sorry Cat. It’s been a hard year and I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. I am the worst version of myself. I’m in pain all of the time, I’m moody, and I have a very short fuse. Poor Alex has received the brunt of it.”

“None of that matters Kara. You know I love you and support you no matter what. Even when you make terrible decisions.”

“How are you here?”, Kara asked grabbing Cat’s hand and smiling.

“Your sister called me and asked me come and see you. She’s worried about you.”

“She shouldn’t have done that.”

“She said she was desperate, Kara. She needed me because she needed me to do what I always do.”

“What’s that?”

“Help you find your way.”

“My way is lost. I’m lost.”

Cat sat on the edge of the desk and grabbed Kara’s hand.

“Kara, you want to feel sorry for yourself. You’ve suffered terribly both physically and emotionally. You want to drown your sorrows in depressing music and let the woman of your dreams marry someone else. You’re being an idiot. I’m fucking Cat Grant. I went from being a University advisor to a billionaire CEO because I NEVER felt sorry for myself. I never allowed destiny to drag me around by the bra straps. No, when shit got messy, I persevered, and I know you will too.”

“This is different Cat. I’m in pain. I’m handicapped and that’s not going to change. My situation is just different.”

“How? Every single time you have wanted something in your life, you have doubted whether you deserved it. The scholarship, grad school, you have never just trusted that you deserved to be happy. You’re right. We are different. I see my self worth. You shit on yourself and give up. It’s the same with Lena. Kara, it doesn’t matter whether you’re handicapped or not. You’re being foolish. You’re making excuses because you don’t think you deserve to be happy. That is selfish and misguided. You deserve to be happy and so does Lena. If she’s in love with you and you continue to hide this from her, you’re taking away her potential happiness. You are removing her choice from her control. Who are you to do that? If you love her, don’t be an ass. You need to tell her immediately or you’re the villain in this story.”

Kara collapsed onto her desk and laid her head on her arms.

Cat put a hand on her shoulder.

“Kara, you need tough love. You need to hear the honest to God truth. It sounds to me like everyone has tiptoed around you in a misguided effort to help you. I will not hold my tongue. You need to call that woman and tell her everything. I mean it. Better yet. Let’s go and find her. You need to tell her in person.”

“She is in Ireland, Cat.”

“I have my jet. Go home, pack a bag and let’s go.”

Kara chuckled.

“Are you kidding? Sure. We’ll just hop a plane to Ireland.”

“I’m not kidding, Kara. She deserves an explanation. Maybe she will reject you, but your fear of rejection cannot dictate how you live your life. Kara, you need to be brave. You need to be the hero. Don’t let this be the end of you. Let this be the beginning of you taking back control of your life.”

Kara beamed through her tears.

“Shit. Why does everything make more sense when you say it? What the hell have I done? Okay. Okay, let’s go find her. I love her too much to give up on her or let her give up on me. You’re right. I need to go and tell her everything, If she tells me to leave, I will live, but I can’t go on with the unknown. Jesus Cat, do you have some kind of superpower or something? How do you always convince me to do things I don’t want to do?”

“I like that. I guess that is my superpower. I give people advice and help them see the way to the most positive outcome. Ha! I need a cape.”

“Thank you for coming. You have no idea how much I appreciate this. I missed you so much and I finally feel like I’m thinking clearly for first time in a year.”

“You should thank Alex.”

“She’s fast asleep, but I’ll call her when we land. Are you sure you’re okay doing this?”

“Of course Kara. It’s for you and for true love. Alex said you have spent so much time talking about how you are damaged and don’t deserve love. You are beautiful, inside and out. You are stunningly beautiful and your flaw, your one flaw doesn’t make you broken, it makes you special. Your heart is what she fell in love with. She loved you long before she saw you. I believe in this. I believe in your love. Oh and if you tell another living soul how much of a romantic softie I am, I’ll have you ‘disappeared’ and no one will ever find the body. You understand?” Cat gave Kara the most disarming smile. Kara stood up and wrapped her arms around Cat.

“I feel like an idiot, Cat.”

“You are, but you’re a sweet idiot. I imagine if Lena sees your sad blue eyes and that sweet soft grin, she will have to forgive you instantly. If she doesn’t, she’s the idiot. Come on Kara, you have a bag to pack and we have a plane to catch.”

***

Kara and Cat sat across from each other on her private jet.

Cat worked on her laptop under subdued light. Her reading glasses were perched on her nose, just as Kara had remembered from the old days.

Kara curled up in the seat and listened to music.

**“Run To You”, by Lea Michele played.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/2SOUTN8rzGAkBr001HqAXe?si=99msSZV4Q8WLfM6_h9Pejg**

She stared out the window and ran through every possible scenario in her mind.

She opened a notebook that sat on the seat beside her and began to write.

_Lena, my love, my heart,_

_I need to write this down before I say the words. I need to find the best way to convey to you how I could possibly have screwed all of this up so badly. First, let me say how sorry I am for everything. You have always deserved better than what I gave you. Our night together on Christmas Eve was, hands down, the best night of my life. When I was wrapped in your arms, I felt safer and happier than I have ever felt. When I made love to you, I wanted to weep, because I finally found my home in you. It wasn’t just the feeling of being together. It was the miracle that brought us there. What were the chances that after meeting on Christmas Eve, that we would find each other again on Christmas Eve in the snow two years later? What were the chances that you would just be standing there and know me? My heart could have exploded with joy._

_The next morning when I was driving to Alex’s, an exhausted truck driver crashed into my car and changed my life forever. I know I promised I would call. I know I said I wanted to take you to the airport. I can only imagine how horrible you must have felt when I didn’t call. When I thought about your pain, it cut my heart. My injuries were severe. I had multiple surgeries to repair broken bones and internal bleeding. I didn’t wake up until two weeks later. I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to ask why I didn’t call as soon as I woke up. I wanted to and then I saw myself. I saw the pile of bandages, blood and broken bones that laid motionless in bed. You and I had just met. I couldn’t subject you to that. When the doctors told me the physical therapy and recovery could take over a year, I panicked. I didn’t know you that well, but I knew you enough to know that you would have flown back here and been by my side. I knew enough to know that you would have wanted to help me recover and heal, but what kind of love story would that make? When we talked on the phone you sounded young and vibrant. As I laid there in that hospital, I realized I would never feel young and vibrant again._

_When I went to your apartment after those six months were supposed to be over, I had every intention of telling you face to face what had happened. When I found Sam instead, I felt like the magic and destiny that brought us together in the snow was telling me that it was too late and I had screwed up. I am usually pretty level headed, but it felt like a sign. When Sam told me about you and Lana, I was sure that I had lost my chance and it was all over._

_Somehow, your brilliant best friend figured out what happened and begged me to tell you, but how could I? You had moved on with someone new. You moved on and found love. I couldn’t be the guilt that weighed heavy on your heart. I knew you would feel conflicted, and for what? It was better that you hated me than to be heartbroken all over again. Everyone around me told me I was an idiot. Every day, they hounded me to tell you, accusing me of being a moron or insane. What they didn’t know, what they couldn’t possibly comprehend, was that I knew that your life would be better without me. I loved you too much to be selfish. I didn’t care if everyone thought I was an idiot. Even I thought I was being unreasonable at times and then I would sit and ask myself what kind of life you would have with Lana versus a life with me. With Lana you could have adventure and travel. With Lana you could hike and climb mountains. With me, there would be hospitals and surgeries. There would be handicapped spaces and canes strewn about. You would, no doubt, suffer my anger when I was in pain. You would have to witness me struggling just to stand up. What kind of life would that be?_

_So, you called. You called me out of nowhere and gave me a chance. You gave me the chance to tell you on my own terms why I never called, why I never showed up to take you to the airport, but how could I? I had no self confidence, zero strength. I wanted to wrap my arms around you and protect you from the villainy of the world, but I could barely stand. How was I going to protect the woman I loved?_

_So, here I sit on a plane bound for Ireland. How did I get here? My sister. Alex called one of my oldest and dearest friends. We all have one. You know the friend who tells you what you need to hear and never sugarcoats anything? You know the friend who hits you in the shoulder and tells you to stop fucking feeling sorry for yourself? That’s Cat. I’m on her private jet flying to you because Cat made me see something I was blind to. Everyone said it, but Cat made it make sense. You never had the choice. This was your love too and I acted like it was just mine to throw away. It was unfair. I would rather you spit in my eyes and hate me than not have the choice to choose love. I spent so much time thinking about how my life was over, but with you by my side, life could have meaning again. I felt ugly and used up, but Cat made me see I am still beautiful. Changed but beautiful. Maybe I would push harder in therapy. Maybe I would feel less pain if I was wrapped in your arms._

_I’m on my way, my heart. I’m doing something I never imagined I would be able to do. I’m running to you. I am running to you and I won’t stop until I can at least present these facts to you. You deserve the truth. I am sorry it took so long to give it to you. When I spoke to you that first night in the elevator, I thought it was you that was broken. You just kept saying it over and over again. I was wrong. It has been me that was broken all along. It was me that was broken, but I hope that you will at least hear me out._

_Lena, I love you with every fiber of my being. I love you with everything I am or will ever be. I just hope you know that every minute of every day that has passed without you has chipped away a piece of my heart. I know that if I can find you and love you, all of those pieces will return and I will feel whole again some day._

_Yours, Broken and Beautiful_

_Kara_

***

The smell of the leather from the limousine and the buzz from the champagne, Cat gave Kara for courage, were making Kara’s head spin.

“Okay, so you know exactly what you are going to say when you go inside.” Cat said . She looked more like a football coach than a woman trying to help a friend. “You’ve got this, Kara. Just remember to breathe.”

“I’m going to apologize. I’m going to tell her I know she is with Lana and I expect nothing. I’m going to tell her everything that happened and beg her forgiveness. I’m going to tell her that I love her and that I don’t know how to love if I’m not by her side.”

“Perfect. Shit. You look a little buzzed. Close your mouth”, Cat said chuckling and slapping Kara’s cheeks lightly. She grabbed Kara’s jaw and pushed her slack mouth closed. “Come on. We need you relaxed, not dazed.”

“Cat, what if she rejects me? What if she tells me to leave her life and never come back?”

“Not knowing is the real tragedy here. If she rejects you, move on. If she rejects you, you have an answer. Not the ideal answer of course, but an answer nonetheless. You’re going to do great. You are going to go in there, be beautiful and sweep her off her feet. Don’t come back out here until she agrees to marry you and have a thousand babies, okay?”

Kara smiled sweetly.

“Okay.”

“Good.”

“I guess I better go. It’s nine am. She should be inside.”

“You’re going to do great.”

“Hey Cat.”

“Yeah.”

“I love you.”

“Save your love for Lena. You know I hate to feel feelings. Go, get out of here.”

Kara smiled and grabbed the letter she wrote for Lena. She opened the limo door and stepped out into the cold Irish air.

“Kara.”

“Yeah Cat.”

“I love you too. Go get the girl.”

“Thanks Cat”, Kara said beaming.

Kara turned around and walked towards the building entrance.

Cat reached over and pulled the door closed. She couldn’t help but smile. She pulled out her phone and sent a quick text to Alex.

_Sorry, I know it’s late. Kara didn’t get the chance to text you earlier. I just thought you’d like to know that your sister just walked into Lena’s office building. She is going to find her and tell her everything. Everything is going to be okay. I’ll keep you posted._

***

Alex and Sam laid curled up together on Sam’s couch watching an old black and white movie. Alex laid behind Sam and held her hand. She kissed her neck and squeezed her tight.

“I think this is the most relaxed I have ever felt. Can we just stay here forever?”

Sam turned her head towards Alex and kissed her lips softly.

“You’ll hear no objections from me, Detective.”

“I love it when you call me that.”

Alex’s phone buzzed in her pocket. Sam felt the vibration and squealed.

“What was that?” Sam asked with giddy delight.

“I just got a text message.”

Alex pulled out her phone and read the message. She sat up quickly and reread the text one more time. Sam sat up next to her and looped her arm around Alex’s arm.

“Holy shit Sammy, guess where Kara is right now?”

“Where?”

“Walking into Lena’s office building. She’s going to tell her face to face.”

“Oh my God. Wait, this is finally happening? This isn’t some cruel joke?”

“Nope. Cat Grant doesn’t joke.”

“Wow. Okay. We need updates. Tell Cat to keep us posted.”

Alex sent a text back to Cat asking for updates. Cat responded quickly that they would be the first to know anything.

A loud knock at Sam’s door startled them both.

“Holy Shit! There’s so much going on. My God. Who could possibly be at my door this late?” Sam asked standing up.

Alex stood up and stepped in front of Sam.

“It’s late baby. Let me get it.”

Sam grabbed Alex’s hand and smiled.

“I love how protective you are, Detective.”

Alex smiled and kissed Sam’s lips softly.

Alex looked through the peephole and did a double-take.

“Hey Sam. Lena, she’s got long black hair, green eyes and alabaster skin right?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Because she is standing outside your door. I think we have a problem.”

***

When Kara remerged from the office building, Cat could see things didn’t go well. She pulled out another bottle of champagne. This time, she knew Kara would need the champagne, not for courage, but for the pain.

The limo driver walked around and opened the door for Kara. Kara stepped back into the limo, her face painted with sadness and disappointment. Kara took the seat across from Cat and settled in.

“What happened?”

“I spoke to her assistant. She flew to Metropolis for a meeting. She’s not here.”

“Jesus. I’m so sorry, Kara.”

“Do you see what I mean? Maybe this isn’t meant to be.”

“She just took a trip, Kara. Don’t let this defeat you. We will head back to National City and you can tell her.”

“I just can’t believe she would come all the way to Metropolis and not tell me. I guess she really is over me.”

“Stop. We’re going to get on that plane, get you back home, and you are going to tell her everything.”

“I left her the letter just in case she won’t see me or I chicken out. Her assistant said she would get it when she returns.”

“Well, that may have been the bravest thing you’ve ever done.”

“I just hope it wasn’t the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

***

Sam, Alex, and Lena sat down in the living room. Sam three glasses of wine. Lena shivered, still recovering from the chill outside.

“How are you here? Why are you here, Lena? You didn’t say anything about coming home.” Sam grabbed Lena’s hand and smiled.

“I made a last minute decision to come home. I was feeling stifled in Ireland. I just needed to get away.”

“What was so stifling exactly?” Sam asked.

“Everything. I just felt like I couldn’t breathe.”

“I should let you two catch up”, Alex said rubbing Sam’s back. She leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Lena, it was good to see you.”

“Please don’t go on my account. I’m so sorry to invade this way.”

“You’re not invading at all babe. Just tell me what’s going on”, Sam said looking concerned. “You show up in the middle of the night, fresh off a plane, unannounced. This just isn’t you.”

“Please stay Alex. I’m really sorry. I’m just a bit of a mess.”

“Drink some wine sweetie. Drink some wine and take a long deep breath”, Sam said pushing the wine glass closer to Lena.

“It’s all of this Lana stuff. I knew she was going to ask me to marry her. I knew it in my heart. She asked me in front of her whole family at dinner. What else could I say? I love her. I love a lot about her. I just don’t know if I can do this. My heart is just conflicted. You know?”

“I have to ask Lena, does Kara have anything to do with your conflicted heart? Alex ask softly.

“Of course. If only things were different.”

“Babe. Kara just walked into your office in Ireland. She was going to Ireland to tell you everything. She got on a plane to win you back.”

“Tell me what happened. Sam, Alex, please. One of you needs to tell me something.”

Lena’s cell phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out.

“What’s up?” Sam asked.

“It’s a text message from my assistant. He asked me to call. Do you mind?”

“Not at all”, Sam said.

Alex smiled and nodded in agreement.

Lena picked up her phone and called her assistant.

Alex and Sam didn’t want to be nosey, but they were dying to know what would happen next for the two star-crossed lovers.

“Hey, it’s me. Oh really? Yeah. I didn’t know she was coming. A letter? Yes. Please send it. Just scan it and I’ll read it on my phone. Thanks and thank you for your discretion.”

Lena ended the call and set her phone down on her lap.

Sam put a hand on Lena’s.

“What happened?”, Alex asked warmly. “Is everything okay?”

“She left a letter”, Lena said shakily. “I wonder if I’m finally about to get answers.”

Lena’s phone vibrated on her lap and startled her. She picked it up and clicked on the new email message.

“You know what babe, why don’t we give you a minute to read that?”

Sam grabbed Alex’s hand and they walked into the bedroom. Sam knew Lena wouldn’t want to cry in front of Alex, and she was sure if Kara told her everything, her heart would break.

Alex closed the door, but left it open, slightly ajar. They spoke in hushed whispers.

“I can’t believe Lena is finally going to find out everything that happened”, Sam whispered softly.

“That’s if Kara was completely honest in the letter.”

“She flew all the way to Ireland to tell her. The letter has to say something about what happened.”

“Did you see her shaking as she was about to open the email? I think she knows in her heart that it wasn’t just Kara ghosting her.”

“She knew the moment I told her to call Kara that she didn’t just ghost her”, Sam said peeking through the crack in the door.

“She’s so quiet. I don’t know what I was expecting to hear. Maybe a gasp or gentle sobs. I hope she’s not angry. I hope whatever Kara said, expressed everything the right way.”

They heard Lena moving around and then they heard the the front door slam. When they walked back into the living room, Lena was gone.

Alex and Sam stood in the living room completely shell-shocked.

“Shit. I think we lost her”, Sam said sadly. She walked to the window but there was no sign of Lena outside.

“No baby, I think Kara just lost her.”

***

Kara sat across from Cat on the way home. Cat wore an eye mask and dozed. She offered Kara two Xanax to take the edge off, but Kara wanted to be awake. She wanted to feel. She wondered if she would ever have the strength to look Lena in the eyes and confess how idiotic she had been. She wondered if she would ever be able to tell her just how much she meant to her. Kara knew in her heart that Lena belonged to another, but she didn’t care. All she wanted was to tell Lena everything. She wanted to tell her every single word.

Kara stared out the window and wondered where Lena was right at that very moment. She wondered if she even crossed Lena’s mind or if she was too consumed with wedding planning. All she knew was that she felt a pull, an intense ache, driving her back to Metropolis. Lena was there, so that was where she belonged. She needed to stand in front of Lena, look her in the eyes, and tell her that a life without her wasn’t living at all.

**“It’s Okay”, by Tom Rosenthal played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/2Iyfw8YfKruAagJwGc4G07?si=5eum13c_TZ2ptNZm-N78dg**


	11. As Promised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As promised, Kara and Lena finally meet face to face on Christmas Eve. 
> 
> **Author’s Note: The music is everything in this chapter. Please listen as you read. Trust me, it will be worth it. **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who suffered through all of the angst. I hope this chapter makes it all worth it.

“When did you get home?” Alex asked as she and Sam stepped through the threshold into Kara’s apartment.

Alex wrapped her arms around her sister who stood uneasy against her cane.

“We landed a few hours ago. I just came back here to get cleaned up. I need to go find Lena while I still have the courage in my heart.”

“Come. Let’s sit down for a second”, Sam said with a sad smile.

They walked into the living room and took a seat.

“Kar, Lena read your letter”, Alex said quickly, hoping to spare Kara pain.

“What? But how?”

Sam moved closer to Kara and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Her assistant told her about the letter and she requested a copy. We were together when she received it.”

“How did she react? Was she angry? Was she swayed at all?”

Sam shook her head.

“We stepped into the other room to give her some privacy. She was quiet and then she left without saying another word to us. I tried calling and texting her, but she just said that she needed some time to get her life in order. I’m not sure what that means. We haven’t heard from her since. She never came back to the apartment. I have no idea where she stayed last night.”

“Shit. I knew that letter was a mistake. I really hoped my words would get through to her. I know I was an idiot, but I never imagined she would run like this. Do you think she went back to Ireland?”

“I don’t know. Text her”, Sam suggested.

“I have texted her and she just ignores me. If she isn’t giving you information, I fear I won’t have much more success.”

“What did you say in your letter?” Alex asked tenderly, and without a hint of accusation.

“I told her what happened. I told her I was sorry that it took me so long to explain. I confessed that I loved her and begged her to forgive me. There shouldn’t have been anything overtly offensive, unless she decided my explanation wasn’t enough.”

“Maybe she was just overwhelmed by it all. She has probably spent so much time angry at you that it was hard to hear that this really wasn’t your fault. I mean, you should have told her sooner, but the accident wasn’t in your control”, Sam said wrapping an arm around Kara.

“I really thought I’d be able to tell her face to face. Do you think she’s at her office here?”

“I don’t know. Give it a try. We can head back to the apartment and see if she makes an appearance. She has the keys to let herself in. I’ll send her another text.”

“Christmas Eve is in two days. I really hoped that we would finally be together, but this all seems so hopeless.”

“Stay strong and have some faith Kara”, Alex said caressing Kara’s hair and smiling. “Lena’s heart will guide her back to you someday.”

***

When Kara awoke Christmas Eve morning, her hip ached, but not as much as her heart. She and Sam had tried every form of communication with Lena but they received no response. Kara felt hollow. She knew that her heartbreak was one-hundred percent her own fault, and she would have to live with the consequences for the rest of her days.

Alex had extended the usual Christmas Eve party invitation to Kara. Her sister was more excited than ever because she was going to introduce Sam to all of their friends and family. Kara wasn’t in the mood to celebrate. All she wanted to do was listen to sad Christmas music and pretend to work in her darkened office.

**“Winter Song”, by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson played softly in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/1KDkSCXJIR4CJaVUK9qP7O?si=HzYrcxTOTAKkALV9ewFjWA**

She looked over at the clock and chuckled.

“Why is it that whenever I check the time, it’s always eleven-thirty? Fuck. What am I doing here?”

She sat back and watched the snow falling outside. It amazed Kara how something so beautiful could make her so sad. She used to love to watch the snow falling, but now it reminded her of Lena and her heart broke. She wondered how destiny could push them together the way it had and then pull them apart so violently.

“Who am I kidding? Destiny had nothing to do with this. This was all my own fault. Destiny wanted us together and I went and fucked it all up. She deserved so much better than I gave her.”

Kara opened a new search window and brought up a picture of Lena. She touched the screen with her fingertips and outlined Lena’s face gently as tears flowed down her cheeks like raindrops.

“Fuck. Fuck this fucking holiday. Fuck this day entirely. I just can’t. Now I understand why bears hibernate. I’m just going to start sleeping through Christmas.”

Kara was startled when her cellphone vibrated violently on the desk. She picked it up and saw it was Cat calling.

“Hey Cat”, Kara said with fake cheer.

“Why aren’t you here? What are you still doing at the office?”

“I have a ton of work to do Cat. Besides, I’m not really feeling the Christmas sprit.”

“Listen, she will call. Just give her time. Whatever it is she’s dealing with is probably a lot more complex than any of us could understand. You gave her a lot in that letter and she didn’t get the benefit of staring into your eyes and seeing your sincerity. Give her time.”

“We met on Christmas Eve. Did you know that? We met and it was perfect. We made love on Christmas Eve. It was the greatest night of my life. This is just a hard night for me.”

“All the more reason to get your ass over to Alex’s and be surrounded by the people you love and the people who love you. Come on. Close up shop and get over here.”

Kara smiled a little. She adored Cat. She hadn’t realized how much she missed her until she saw her again. Being without Lena for another Christmas Eve broke her heart, but it was nice to have Cat back in town.

“Okay. Let me get everything shut down here and I will be on my way shortly.”

“Kara, please be careful.”

“I will.”

“You’re precious cargo. Get here in one piece.”

“I will, I promise.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

“Thanks Cat. I needed something to pull me out of this funk. I love you for staying. Thank you.”

“No thanks are necessary. Come on. I’m starting to feel again, and you know how much I hate that.”

The call disconnected before Kara could say another word. She just smiled and shook her head. She turned around to grab her bag and banged her knee hard.

“Fucking fuck fuck!”

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

Kara froze for a moment. She shook her head in disbelief. She had heard Lena’s voice in her head a thousand times since they first met. She was sure she was just hallucinating again. She wanted so desperately to see her that she was sure she was slipping into full-on madness.

Every nerve in her body fired off as she turned around slowly to see if the voice was real or in her head.

**“Hallelujah”, by Tori Kelly played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/3wWinz94TSPWe6CgTaSK6x?si=eFDz2TyaTLmNpHTZktI_sA**

Lena stood in the doorway holding a small wrapped box. She was dressed in warm winter clothes and her eyes sparkled. She smiled so sweetly, Kara thought her heart might explode from wanting.

“Hi Kara.”

“Hi Lena”, Kara said trying to hold back her tears.

“I’m sorry to show up like this unannounced. I just got back an hour ago and came straight from the airport.”

“Back from where?” Kara asked.

Lena took a few steps into the office. She moved closer to Kara.

“Ireland.”

“But you were here. Alex and Sam said you came to the apartment.”

“I did”, Lena said with her most charming smile.

“I don’t understand.”

“There were some things I needed to take care of.”

“Why did you come back?”

Lena moved quickly to the desk and placed the box in front of Kara.

“To give you your Christmas present.”

“You flew all the way back here to give me a present? I’m so sorry. I have nothing for you.”

Lena beamed. Kara had imagined their next meeting a few hundred times, but she never imagined Lena would be smiling so much. She moved a hand to her arm and pinched herself, but it wasn’t a dream.

“That’s okay. Open it.”

Kara untied the bow and removed the lid from the box. Sitting below the lid was a small post-it note that read ‘I owe you one dance, Love Kara.’

“Do you remember that?” Lena asked.

Kara picked up the note and stared at it. Her face dropped.

“I do.”

“I came to collect. You owe me a dance.”

“I knew when I made that promise that I would never be able to dance with you. I can’t stand on my own for more than a few seconds at a time. If you read my letter, you know that this condition isn’t going away, Lena.”

“I did read your letter and I want to dance with you.”

“I will need my cane and that’s not romantic.”

“I will support you”, Lena said putting a hand out to Kara.

Kara’s eyes welled up with tears.

“Lena, I’m broken. I’m irreparable. You deserve so much better than this.”

“Dance with me.”

Kara struggled to stand up. Lena moved to her side and supported her. She helped her to the center of the room and wrapped her arms around her tightly. The minute Lena wrapped her arms around her body, Kara felt lighter. She felt more stable. Her pain drifted away. Their faces were only inches apart. Lena began to gently sway back and forth.

Kara couldn’t help but smile, but she was still feeling uneasy.

“Play Cry To Me”, Kara said loudly.

**“Cry To Me”, by Solomon Burke played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/1tYk5zABu6h8CMP1cSea56?si=aajErO7MQ3yWV6TxD7FEKw**

Lena smiled sweetly. She pulled Kara closer and swayed a little more.

“I remember this song. This is the song I wanted to dance to.”

“Lena, I don’t understand why you came here and then went home so quickly.”

“Ireland isn’t my home. My home is right here.”

“But why did you leave?”

“I came here because I needed to decide if I wanted to be engaged.”

Kara looked over at Lena’s hand and saw an engagement ring.

“Well, I guess you made your decision. Did you come here to break the news to me in person? That was kind of you”, Kara said flatly.

“I came back home because I decided I did want to be engaged.”

“I’m confused, Lena.”

“I came here initially because I didn’t know if I wanted to marry Lana. On paper, she seemed like the perfect fit, but you were always in my thoughts and in my heart. When I got here, I read your letter and suddenly, everything was clear. The moment I read your words, I knew what I had to do. I caught the next flight to Ireland, found Lana and told her that I couldn’t marry her.”

“Are you serious?” Kara asked holding on tighter..

“Dead serious.”

“How did she take it?”

“When she and I first got together, I told her that I loved someone who broke my heart. She knew that I was still in love with you. She said she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I needed to fly back to Ireland to get that post-it and to tell Lana I couldn’t marry her in person. She deserved my honesty and she deserved to know the truth. We parted on good terms, considering.”

Kara placed her hands on Lena’s chest and began to weep. She smiled effortlessly as she stared into Lena’s piercing green eyes.

“I needed to get my affairs in order and get back here. I agree with you. Living isn’t living if I’m not by your side.”

Kara pressed her tear-soaked cheek against Lena’s and smiled.

“Why are you wearing an engagement ring?”

“Oh, you didn’t see your other present.”

Lena leaned over and grabbed the box from the desk. She handed it to Kara and moved her hands to her waist to support her. Kara looked inside the box where the post-it had been. Seated in the center of the larger box was a small ring box. Kara began to weep harder when she realized what it was. Lena smiled sweetly.

Kara opened the ring box, and laying there on a pillow of silk, was the same beautiful engagement ring that Lena wore.

Lena grinned. Now her eyes were filled tears as well.

“I thought to myself, we really should have matching rings. We’ve spent so much time apart, I want the rest of our lives to be tied together into one, walking side by side. I know we have a lot to learn about each other, but I am willing to wait as long as you need to. I know you will need time. I just want to be with you.”

Kara was so touched, she could barely breathe.

“Kara, all I know is that I want to spend the rest of my life hearing your voice and breathing the same air. I want to kiss your lips and caress you cheeks every night before I sleep. If you will marry me, all of this, all of this pain, all of this angst we have felt will disappear. You are the woman of my dreams. You are my destiny. I have no doubt in my mind or my heart that we were meant to be together. Even when I started dating Lana, I never fully committed because I believed that some day I would be with you. You’re so quiet. Please say something.”

Lena moved her hand to Kara’s cheek and held her tight with the other arm,

**“Hallelujah”, by Tori Kelly played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/3wWinz94TSPWe6CgTaSK6x?si=qvZWqjJ1SOupVhJ_Y2K6HQ**

“Why is this song playing again? This should be on shuffle”, Kara said distracted.

“This song is beautiful. It’s kind of fitting, don’t you think?”

“Lena, I’m sorry. I’m just so overwhelmed, I can barely breathe. I was so sad. Every single part of me felt like I was dying when I lost you. Every part of me ached and bled not hearing your voice or seeing your smile. I just can’t believe this. I can’t believe you’re really here.”

“I’m here, my love. So, will you marry me?”

Kara smiled and wept uncontrollably. She moved both hands to Lena’s cheeks and kissed her passionately. Lena wrapped her arms around Kara tighter and kissed her back with all of the fire and love in her heart.

Kara pulled back and grinned.

“Sorry. That means yes. God yes. Please marry me. I don’t ever want to lose you again. You are my world. I would marry you tomorrow, but I’m happy to wait too.”

Lena laughed and squeezed Kara tighter. She grabbed the ring box from Kara and pulled out the ring. Kara stretched out her ring finger and Lena slipped the ring onto her finger effortlessly. Kara shook. Lena took her hand and kissed it tenderly.

“Kara, you’re my world.”

Lena pulled back and looked down at Kara’s leg.

“Kara, I just noticed how strong you’re standing on your leg. Are you okay? Are you in pain?”

“It’s you. You give me strength. You take away all of my pain.”

“Kara, I will never leave your side again. I will always be here to give you strength, and I will stand by you as you continue to heal. No matter what challenges we face, we will face them together.

“I was just scared. You deserve so much more than I can give you.”

“I deserve to be happy. The only person in this world that makes me truly happy is you. Just you. You are all I want and all I need to live a happy life. I need my brilliant engineer with the beautiful mind to share my life. That is what I really deserve.”

The bells of the church rang. Kara and Lena looked over just as the clock struck midnight.

Kara caressed Lena’s cheek and smiled.

“Merry Christmas, Lena. Thank you for coming home to me.”

“Merry Christmas Kara. Thank you for answering the phone that night I was stuck in the elevator. You saved my life that night and you changed my life forever.”

Kara pulled Lena closer and pressed her lips to Lena’s eyes, her cheeks, and her lips. Normally, Kara’s hip would have been throbbing uncontrollably, but Lena’s support and Kara’s joy were all the painkiller she needed.

***

Alex’s living room was alive with the Christmas spirit as everyone opened their presents. Cheerful music played in the background and the glow of the white Christmas lights and burning candles created a magical ambiance.

**“All I Want For Christmas Is You”, by Mariah Carey played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/0bYg9bo50gSsH3LtXe2SQn?si=Iop9tI8pS6uDWlNnKKFvkQ**

Alex and Cat were the only two who didn’t open presents or enjoy a glass of champagne. They both checked their phones frantically. They were both concerned about Kara.

“Should I call her? She was supposed to leave an hour ago”, Alex said pacing in a tight circle.

“Normally, I would say no, but now you’re in my head. I’ll call her”, Cat said pulling out her cell. She hit Kara’s number and clicked speakerphone.

Suddenly, they heard a phone ringing. Cat and Alex looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. They followed the sound of the ringing to the front door.

Alex opened the door and found Kara and Lena wrapped in each other’s arms kissing like two women who had waited an eternity to be together.

“Holy Shit!” Alex exclaimed at the top of her lungs.

Cat stood back and beamed. Her smile said “Yeah, I did that.”

Lena and Kara let go and turned to Alex and Cat.

“Oh, thank you Jesus. This really is a Christmas miracle”, Alex said waving the two lovebirds inside.

Cat stepped forward and smiled.

“You must be Lena. It’s nice to see the two of you finally found your way to each other. Kara just needed a swift kick to the head to see the light.”

Lena wrapped her arms around Cat’s neck and hugged her tight. Cat stood stiff and confused. She wasn’t used to being hugged. She accepted hugs from Kara, but she also knew her for the majority of her adult life.

“Thank you for giving her the kick in the head she needed. I can’t thank you enough”, Lena said pulling back.

“Come on you two. Let’s get you inside. I’m sure everyone will be thrilled to meet you, Lena. There’s food and presents. Come in. Let’s get you a drink”, Alex said full of excitement.

Kara and Lena followed Alex inside. They heard a loud squeal and suddenly, Sam ran towards them at breakneck speed. She threw her arms around both of them and squeezed tight.

“It’s about time you two. It’s so strange seeing you both in the same place at the same time. God, I love this. Come on, everyone is opening presents.”

**“Rocking Around The Christmas Tree”, by Brenda Lee played loudly through the bustling apartment.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/4ZTBpdern3fFh8wz88q4La?si=gpI2sCkqSxqEw8hyRQ7FFA**

Kara led Lena around the apartment and introduced her to their friends and family. Everyone rejoiced at the news of their engagement. The lights sparkled and the champagne flowed as Alex led a toast to true, albeit delayed, love.

As promised, Lena stood behind Kara and held her tight, giving her all of the support and love she could ever need. Snow continued to blanket Metropolis as the Danvers girls raised their glasses and celebrated the women who had stolen their hearts.


	12. I Get To Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1 Year Later - The Wedding

Christmas Eve - 1 Year Later

Kara and Lena had a simple vision for their wedding. They wanted to be married on Christmas Eve, surrounded by all of their friends and family, and they wanted to be married in the snow where they first met face to face.

When Kara suggested that they be married in the exact spot where they met, Lena was madly in love with the idea. No other place on the planet seemed as romantic as that spot outside the department store where serendipity seemed to take hold of their lives.

They received some push back from the city initially, but one call from Cat sealed the deal. Kara and Lena never asked Cat what she had to threaten or promise to secure the spot. They just thanked her with hugs and kisses and hoped that she didn’t need to make anyone cry.

Snow, of course wasn’t guaranteed either, but it had been well over a decade since Metropolis had a snow-less Christmas Eve. Kara and Lena were sure Cat would call Mother Nature herself if it looked like snow wouldn’t fall for their magical day.

Lena’s suggestion that their wedding guests be whisked away to the reception in horse-drawn carriages, added a sparkle of romance and old-world charm that delighted everyone in attendance.

The air smelled of Christmas pine and the glow of the white globe lights hanging from the trees painted a beautiful holiday tableau.

Their guests wore heavy winter coats, muffs and hats. The wedding invitation had suggested that their guests dress warm and cozy for the snow and Lena and Kara were pleased to see that they took their suggestion to heart.

The happy couple wore matching white fur-lined coats from Russia, one of the many gifts Cat presented to them before the big day.

Lena and Alex jokingly referred to Cat as the “father of the bride” because she was so generous and proud of Kara. The image of Cat holding Eliza close and crying onto her shoulder at the rehearsal dinner only seemed to solidify the playful nickname.

Cat, of course, officiated. As she put it, only she was capable of sending Kara and Lena off into the world together the right way. Kara and Lena both happily agreed.

In true Cat fashion, her words were poignant, thoughtful, funny, and they evoked just the right amount of emotion. Cat’s cutting wit and her surprisingly infectious warmth made everyone who didn’t know her a big fan. For those who were blessed enough to know her, it came as no surprise that she was the dream officiant.

When it came time for their vows, Kara and Lena wanted to keep things simple. They were happy to save their words for each other for the reception, where they knew their guests would be warm and well fed. They didn’t want their guests to catch their deaths on the chilly Metropolis night.

The one thing Kara absolutely insisted they do in the snow was share their first dance.

**The DJ played “Heavenly Day”, by Patty Griffin.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/2vy6F2C23RxlGJvbdA7NTq?si=9OvRhJ91Rv6ZoU42q7Fuwg**

The music began to play, just as a perfect dusting of snowflakes fell from the night sky.

Lena wrapped her arms around Kara’s neck and kissed her lips softly.

“Aww baby, your nose is so cold”, Lena said rubbing her cheek against Kara’s.

“I can’t feel anything but the warmth of your body and pure joy.”

Kara wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist and squeezed her tight. Kara stood tall and strong on her leg as they swayed back and forth.

“So, you got your snow, my queen”, Kara whispered softly to Lena. I knew it would happen if you just kept the faith.

“Everything is perfect. The snow, the horse drawn carriages, you. God, you are so beautiful. This is everything I ever could have dreamed of and more.”

Kara looked around at their loved ones. No one seemed cold or uncomfortable. They all grinned, their eyes bright with happy tears.

“I still can’t believe we convinced the city to let us have the wedding outside the department store.”

“It’s where I knew I loved you. It’s where I first imagined marrying you”, Lena said dreamily. “Of course they let us do this. Who would have had the heart to say no?” Lena moved her hands to the back of Kara’s neck and lightly scratched. Kara purred like a kitten and pressed her cheek to Lena’s”

“You really knew you loved me that day?”

“I did. I had no doubt in my mind. I saw your smile and those bright blue eyes, and I just knew. I stood here, on this spot, and wondered what it would be like to wake up next to you every morning.”

“I hope it hasn’t been a disappointment”, Kara said with a playful chuckle.

Lena gave Kara a little poke in the side and kissed her lips.

“Waking up in your arms every morning is the greatest joy I could possibly feel. When did you know you loved me?”

“I won’t say. You’ll make fun of me.”

“Oh stop it. You’re my wife now. You have to tell me.”

“I knew I loved you that first night. I can’t explain why. There was just something in your voice. I was a goner.”

“I’m so sorry my love”, Lena said caressing Kara’s cheek.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I’m sorry that I was so crazy back then. I’m sorry you had to wait so long”, Lena said burying her face in Kara’s neck.

“My love, this was all worth the wait. Yes, we have been through hell, but look at where we are now. This is the most beautiful moment of my life.”

Lena pressed her lips to Kara’s ear.

“Wait until you see what I have planned for our wedding night. I’m just saying, THAT might be the most beautiful moment of your life.”

Kara pulled Lena close and kissed her with all of the fire, joy and silliness in her heart.

“Thank you for marrying me, Lena.”

“Thank you. Thank you for all of this. It’s a dream come true. You’re my dream come true.”

Kara and Lena looked over and saw that Alex, Cat, Eliza and Sam were all standing together crying like babies as they watched the two star crossed lovers finally find their way home for good.

***

Lena, Kara and all of their guests piled into the horse drawn carriages.

Kara stepped into the carriage confidently and put her hand out to Lena to help her up.

“I can’t believe how far you’ve come in a year. You are so strong and confident”, Lena said kissing her bride.

“I have you to thank”, Kara said sitting down and laying a warm heated blanket over their laps.

“Why?”

“You were not only there for me, but you gave me a goal. You gave me tonight. I wanted to be able to stand proudly next to my wife at the altar. I wanted to dance with you in the snow and help you into the carriage. I wanted to be the wife you deserve.”

Lena moved closer to Kara and kissed her cheek softly. She continued to press her cheek to Kara’s and closed her eyes.

“You have been the wife I deserved since day one. What you have accomplished is amazing, but I would have married you a year ago in your office and been just as happy.”

“Really?”

“Really. But this, all of this is magical, so I’m glad I waited to make you mine officially.”

Kara pulled the blanket over them and wrapped her arm around her beautiful bride. They kissed all the way to the hotel, their cold skin, warmed by each other’s touch.

***

The ride to the Grand Hotel was shorter than anyone would have liked. The magic of the carriages delighted all of the guests so much, they wished the ride would never end.

Kara and Lena took an extra lap around the hotel so they could make their grand entrance. It gave them an opportunity to enjoy some extra cuddle time under the blanket and take in the splendor of their perfect Christmas Eve night.

When they walked into the ballroom, a beautiful reception was waiting for them. The theme of snow, glowing white lights and Christmas pine continued into the the magnificent space.

Everyone was seated and enjoyed a gourmet plated dinner of Chinese food. Kara’s favorite potstickers were served at every table.

Kara and Lena settled into their seats and cuddled up close as their friends and family took turns giving speeches.

Sam and Alex made their way to the center of the room. They stood together nervously. Sam spoke first.

“Kara, I remember how much I hated you before we met”, Sam started with a chuckle. Everyone in the room laughed.

“I couldn’t believe that anyone would turn down the opportunity to love my very best friend in the world. When I found out the truth, I felt like a total ass.”

Everyone in the room laughed again. There was something endearing about Sam’s totally inappropriate speech and her big bright brown eyes.

“I’ve been with you two since the beginning, and all I can tell you is that I have never doubted that the two of you were meant to be together. Your hearts, your souls, your nerdiness screamed destiny. I mean, who the hell works that late on Christmas Eve? Just you two nerds.”

The crowd looked at each other and laughed even louder. Sam was killing it.

“You two met because you were both married to your jobs, but now I am sure that you are finally where you need to be. Kara, I’ve known Lena for over a decade. We have been to hell and back. I have seen her triumphs and her failures, her best days and her worst days, I have seen her love and I have seen her ache. I know her as well as she knows herself. I have never seen Lena as happy as she is now. Never. You have brought new life and new meaning to her world and I can’t thank you enough for sticking with it and not giving up. This last year was one of many changes. Lena, we both fell in love and they’re sisters. Go figure. We are so codependent.”

The crowd chuckled and Lena nodded in agreement.

“Lena, I truly believe we are finally where we were meant to be. You’re back home and we have the love of the two most beautiful women in the world.

Congratulations to you both. I have been here with you from the start and I can’t wait to see what our shared future holds. Holy shit Lena, it just occurred to me that we are actually family now. That is so cool. Anyway, I love you both and you better name one of your kids after me for all of the ‘will they or won’t they’ angst you have caused me.”

Sam blew them both a kiss and the crowd applauded and cheered the very strange and very Sam speech. Alex took the mic and stepped forward.

“I’m not sure how I could possibly follow such a perfectly Sam speech”, Alex said pulling Sam in for a one armed hug and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Kar, I just want to start by saying how proud I am of you. Everyone here knows that exactly two years go, my sister was involved in a horrific car accident that left her severely wounded and in pain. One year ago tonight, you and Lena were engaged and since that day, you have put in the work and rehabbed to the point that you cannot only stand on your own two feet, but you can dance with your beautiful wife. Kar, how could words possibly convey how proud I am of everything you have accomplished during the last year? You’re a partner at your Engineering firm, you are standing on your own two feet and you married the woman of your dreams. You have overcome insurmountable odds and I have to thank Lena for always standing by your side and supporting you with unconditional love and patience. Lord knows, I haven’t always been patient with you.”

The crowed giggled a little.

“I think the most amazing thing about you both is that you stand by each other, live to love each other, and appreciate each other every day. Sam and I both agree that you are a template for how a couple should love and support each other. You two are so disgustingly sweet, but we all love to watch you two grow and thrive together. You’re kind of adorable. Cheers to you both. I suppose I should extend a special thanks to the person who gave Kara enough crap to get her ass in gear. Cat, thank you for talking some sense into my pigheaded sister. Cat walked to the center of the room and took the mic.

Everyone applauded Alex’s speech as she took a step back.

“I will keep this short since I was able to share many of my thoughts during the ceremony”, Cat flashed her signature half smile. “I have known Kara her entire adult life. I have seen her get through school, build a fabulous career, and she makes me proud every day just being her. Kara, all I have ever wanted for you is a happy life. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would see you THIS happy. It makes the rest of us mere mortals wish we could feel half the love and joy you do. I am happy to take the credit for talking some sense into you, but you two held on, always loved each other and persevered in spite of some gargantuan hurdles. Kara, Lena, I love you both and I feel so blessed to be a part of your story. Congratulations and you’re welcome.”

The crowd cheered loudly and applauded.

Kara and Lena stood up from their seats and joined Cat in the center of the room. They both gave her hugs. Alex and Sam returned to embrace the happy couple. Kara and Lena motioned for them to stay for their speeches.

Cat handed Kara the microphone and kissed her cheek.

“Lena and I wanted to thank you all for coming tonight. We thought when we decided to have our ceremony in the snow that we would lose twenty percent of our guests. We never imagined that everyone would say yes. As a courtesy to you all, we kept our vows short, but I wanted to make a little toast of my own. A toast to my new wife.”

Kara and Lena turned to each other and smiled. Kara took Lena’s hand and her eyes filled with happy tears.

**“I Get To Love You”, by Ruelle played softly in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/3CV4lFELdziNM1OnHU8nwz?si=_4j3uGyLT8yoMVMwFJUi2w**

“Lena, I still remember the way my chest fluttered the night we spoke for the first time. I remember how speaking to you was effortless. You were this stranger on the other line, and all I wanted to do was rescue you and hold onto you. All I wanted was to know you. We had to travel a long road to get here, but it was worth the wait. The harder the path has been along the way, the more it has made me appreciate being able to finally love you with all of my heart. All I’ve wanted since that first night was to give you every part of me.”

The sound of Alex sniffling and crying pulled everyone’s attention away for a minute. Kara and Lena smiled.

“Lena, thank you for always standing by me, loving me unconditionally and allowing me to love you with every fiber of my being. I have to pinch myself sometimes. It is still so hard to believe that I get to fall asleep in your arms every night and wake up next to you every morning. I feel so blessed. Thank you for being patient, loving and kind during this last year as I worked on getting strong again. Alex is right, I couldn’t have healed without you. You give me strength.”

Lena moved her hands to Kara’s chest and kissed her passionately. She pulled back and smiled.

“So, here is a special toast to my beautiful wife. You are the most beautiful, warm, loving, patient, and kind woman I have ever met. Thank you for loving me the way you do and thank you for marrying me.”

Kara handed Lena the microphone and kissed her cheek. Lena’s eyes welled up with tears. She grabbed Kara’s neck and pressed her forehead to Kara’s. She whispered to Kara softly.

“I love you so much, Kara. I feel like my heart might explode. Your words were perfect.”

Kara smiled and kissed Lena tenderly. Lena wiped away her tears and stepped forward.

**“A Thousand Years”, by Christina Perri played in the background.**

**https://open.spotify.com/track/6lanRgr6wXibZr8KgzXxBl?si=LlQB6CSCSlypU8RKeeeEGw**

“It really sucks to have to go after all of those amazing speeches, but I have had these words in my mind since the night I asked Kara to marry me. I think some of these words were in my mind since the first night we met.

Lena faced Kara and caressed her cheek.

“When you rescued me from the elevator that night, I was a total mess. My life seemed to be crumbling around me and the only bright spot was the conversation we shared on Christmas Eve. When you and I found each other in the snow two years later, I knew it was serendipity. I knew you were my destiny. We have all talk about the long road we travelled. I think we all understand that the pain we suffered made tonight possible, so it was worth it, but I am even more thankful for the suffering.”

The crowd laughed, mainly out of confusion.

“I know you’re all wondering why I am so thankful that we suffered. The truth is, everything has come pretty easy to me. I have spent my life following a pattern and I am not sure I have always stopped to take the time and appreciate what I have or how far I have come. I wake up every morning and I watch you sleep Kara. I wake up and I just smile until my face hurts. I touch your cheeks and hold onto you, thankful beyond words that you’re mine. I would have suffered a thousand lifetimes to get here because I have finally found a reason to stop and appreciate life. That reason is you. I longed for you for so long, I could never take you for granted. Kara makes fun of me because sometime I look at her and pounce on her when we are at dinner or hanging out with Alex and Sam. Sometimes I am just overwhelmed by the fact that we finally have each other. This love we have is such a beautiful thing.”

The whole room was in tears including Kara who held onto Lena’s hand tight.

“So, thank you to all of our beautiful friends and family for joining us this evening. Thank you Sam, Alex and Cat for your love, support and beautiful words, and a very special thank you to my beautiful wife. Thank you for loving me, always standing by me, protecting me, helping me grow, and thank you for making me the happiest woman in the world. Thank you for taking a chance on me even though I was broken. I know you’ve said multiple times over the last year that you were broken, but I have never seen you that way. To me, you’ve never been broken. You’ve always been beautiful. My Kara, my life, thank you for loving me.”

Kara pulled Lena into her arms. Her face was wet with tears. She moved a hand to Lena’s cheek and kissed her passionately, not caring one bit that they were in a room full of people. For that moment, that split second, they only saw each other.

For years to come, all of their wedding guests would say that their wedding was the most beautiful and romantic wedding they had ever attended. It was simply magical.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you for reading. I would be nowhere without the amazing readers on A03. Your comments make me laugh, make me cry, and they make me a better fic writer. Thanks!


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